Holidays for the divorced or widowed can be a very difficult time, alone.  Old memories of good times and happiness that has disappeared, can bring tears of regret and pain.  Could a change of attitude make a difference?  Is it possible that  the month of April could be YOUR time of celebration, YOUR Resurrection?

After having experienced divorce, separation or to have become widowed, you may feel as if you have been crucified, you may even have come to a point of wishing you would die, just to put an end to the suffering. If your “love” has either announced that they are leaving you or perhaps they really did die, you may have been left feeling empty and alone, devoid of a reason for carrying on…

You may wonder, how dare I suggest you could be resurrected from the death of your relationship? 

You say, “But you don’t understand, the pain, the anger, the fear, the devastation that I feel!  I am alone in my struggles, destroyed, betrayed!”  You may have even blamed God.

Perhaps if we center our thoughts on the journey of Jesus in His agony in the Garden of Gethsemane, we can come to a different perspective.  I am sure while alone in the garden His thoughts wandered to how His best friends and Apostles betrayed Him. They became lax in their support of Him when He felt most alone.  Where were they now when He was in such pain and expectation?  He must have considered His future journey towards crucifixion and the agony to come.  Being The Son of God and yet knowing His human experience was going to be painful, lonely and inescapable, surely it must have caused Him emotions of confusion and desperation.

There was no one to take the burden from His shoulders. It was His whole reason for meshing with humanity here on earth, but surely that part of Him that was human experienced the same emotions as we do.

That being said, if we could parallel our own pain with His, where are the nails in our hands and feet, where is the sword in our side?  Could we have willingly taken the burden of dying in this horrible way for the sins of all mankind, present and future? Is our pain a parallel to His? 

I remember asking my God in my divorce and at the death of my wonderful, second husband “Why, God?”  It wasn’t, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” But “Why God?”

Eventually, humility and understanding that I could relate to Jesus on a similar level replaced the wondering.  A camaraderie of sorts that says I feel your pain because I have trod in your path, reset the table for compassion instead of self-pity. I did not put myself on the level of the holy, but on a similar one, a brotherhood/sisterhood, a servant of sorts, and a disciple.  

I realized that, in my healing, my only recourse was to continue to serve in my human way as Jesus served me.  By becoming a disciple, by being a listening ear, a comforter, a person of understanding, my own healing arrived in many ways.

My “crucifixion” became a thing of joy, a penance for my sins and a thank you to my God for the learning experience of human reality. It became a “gift” of wisdom and understanding instead of an experience to lament.

When those who come to our support group with painful stories of betrayal, my answer that it is a “gift”, a learning experience, a journey of self-knowledge, is greeted with a look of incredulity, almost as if they would like to slug me.  But I insist God teaches us by the painful experiences we have to go through. Pain is an opportunity. Remember the walk of Jesus.

In your suffering because of betrayal and loss, imagine you, putting your feet in the Christ’s footprints in the sand. Experience the comfort of knowing your Leader is the one who loved you above all else and still does; the One who is responsible for your Easter.

Your Easter can be Your Resurrection!

“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” Jesus

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“I think if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves.  Otherwise it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him.”  C.S. Lewis

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“The folly which we might ourselves have committed is the one which we are least ready to pardon in another.”  Joseph Roux

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“We forgive to the extent that we love.” La Rouchefoucauld

“I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve.” Luke 1:38. (from THE MESSAGE)

To fathom the response of Mary is to capture one of the most powerful messages of Christmas.

Engaged to be married to Joseph, full of hope for a life blessed by marriage and motherhood, pure of heart and of body, she had every reason to believe that she would enjoy the fruits of a good and honest life. Simple. Out of the spotlight. And yet the intervention by Gabriel, God’s messenger, stopped her in her tracks, turned her world upside down, and changed the course of history.

Gabriel gave the news to Mary that she would become pregnant, give birth to a son, and call him Jesus. Visibly shaken, she said to the angel: “But how? I’ve never slept with a man.” And thus the conception by the Holy Spirit was revealed:

”The Holy Spirit will come upon you,
The power of the Highest hover over you;
Therefore, the child you bring to birth
Will be called Holy, Son of God.” (Luke 1:34-35 from THE MESSAGE)

That message rocked her world.

And then it was revealed by Gabriel that her cousin, Elizabeth, had also conceived a child with her husband, Zachariah, even though she was very old, and thought to be barren.

And then Gabriel replied: “Nothing is impossible with God.” And Mary immediately answered: “Yes, I see it all now: I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve. Let it be with me just as you say.” (Luke 1: 37-38 from THE MESSAGE)

And thus the course was set: this divine, eternal drama would change the lives of mankind from that moment forward. From the family of Joseph and Mary, to Zachariah and Elizabeth, to the shepherds abiding in the fields: the news of the conception by the Holy Spirit, the unswerving belief of Mary and her immediate desire to serve, and the birth of the babe who was born a Savior has granted believers around the world the promises of forgiveness, righteousness, completeness, and a place in the heavenlies at the right hand of God.

It is important to grasp that, despite the recent frenzy in America about taking Christ out of Christmas (having “winter celebrations” instead of “Christmas parties”; “Programs” instead of “Pageants”; and “City Trees” instead of “Christmas trees”) that we Americans are nonetheless distinctly Christian. In fact, four out of five of us describe ourselves as Christians. A recent Harris poll found that 82% of us believed in the Virgin birth, and surprisingly, even among those who admit to being non-Christian, 43% believe in the virgin birth of Jesus.

The Virgin Birth is an incredible historical account with the most profound impact ever introduced to mankind. It is full of wonder and mystery. And I accept and believe it in faith. I believe in other divine orders as well. I believe in God the Creator, as do 94% of Americans; in heaven, as do 89% of Americans; in the eternity of the soul, as do 86% of Americans; in miracles, as do 85% of Americans; and in Christ’s resurrection, as do 86% of us. (1)

But two of my favorite parts of the Virgin Birth of Christ are Gabriel’s message, and Mary’s immediate response: “Nothing is impossible with God”, and “I am the Lord’s maid, ready to serve.”

How many times in your own life have you encountered a situation that looked impossible? Where you felt hopeless, helpless, and hapless? Certainly, you have struggled with relationships, health issues, and financial burdens that have looked absolutely hopeless. There may have been marital battles—large or small—that have forced you to wonder if resolution was even possible, let alone practical. Your children may be rebelling, your home life may be in ruins, your health may be in a state of serious jeopardy, and so you look at life right now through eyes of despair rather than through eyes of hope.

Can you imagine the fear that coursed through Mary’s veins when she was first confronted by Gabriel? Young, pure, and engaged but not yet married…and being told that she would conceive by the Holy Spirit and deliver the Savior of the world? Her initial shock would have to have been completely overwhelming. Any one of us would be traumatized by such news! Yet she found comfort in the angel’s assurance: “nothing is impossible with God.”

So how did she go from being overwhelmed by the news to the immediate reply: “I am the Lord’s maid, ready to serve”?

For when I read and re-read the account of the Virgin Birth, it is not only through the filter of “Nothing is impossible with God.” Rather, being a two-part account, it’s the immediate desire and readiness to serve that truly amazes me! Mary was ready to serve! After hearing overwhelming news. Confronting confusion. Facing fear of rejection and ridicule. Yet she was immediately ready.

Twenty seven years ago I was hit by a car as a pedestrian. My right leg met the bumper and my pelvis met the hood of the speeding car when I attempted to cross the street on my way to my part-time summer job as a college student. The impact propelled me about seventy-five feet in the air before I landed in a crumpled heap on Route 100 in Allentown, Pennsylvania. I was unconscious for a couple hours and, shortly after waking up, had an angel encounter of my own. I re-tell the incident at the risk of losing you; I understand that angel encounters are extremely rare, and that you may find my experience unbelievable. And how could someone else lend it credibility anyway? But especially now, at Christmas, I feel compelled to share it.

Waking up in extreme pain and bewilderment that went beyond rational thought, my first sight was that of my mother and brother staring at me in the emergency room of the hospital. Just like in the movies, everything went in and out of fuzziness (my head was pounding from a concussion), and I was overcome with a sense of “What in the world happened to me?!?” (Apparently that’s a universal reaction to coming out of unconsciousness.) My family was able to quickly explain things and help me sort out the gravity of the situation. I was extremely fearful—like Mary—and understood immediately that my future held in the balance. I was closer to death than I was able to comprehend. And when my brain started to get wrapped around just exactly what had happened to me (my pelvis was fractured in two places, my tibia and fibula were shattered, internal organs suffered extreme bruising, trauma affected my ability to face immediate surgery, my brain was suffering from a concussion), I started shaking uncontrollably. And then the angel spoke to me and I got the sense—like Mary—to “fear not.” For her words—though short and simple—were delivered with great calm: “We’re not ready for you yet.” The rest was delivered with equal weight, but with less clarity. The Message resonated strongly: “Go and tell others about God.”

I confess that—unlike Mary—I lacked the sense of “Here am I Lord, your good and faithful servant.” As a self-absorbed twenty-year-old college junior, my only desires were to survive and get back into the action at Wake Forest University, where my sorority sisters and fraternity brothers were having way more fun than I was. I didn’t tell anyone about my angel encounter for another twenty years or so. And I did a lousy job of “telling others about God” as well. My fear of proselytizing led me to keep my mouth mostly shut. I tried to “tell others” with good behavior. With feeding the hungry and clothing the poor. With housing teens in crisis pregnancies. Going on mission trips. Yet I lacked the confidence and boldness to spread The Message much beyond that.

And so I failed to live up to part of the purpose that I believe God saved me for. I was given another chance at life, yet in many ways, I wasted it.

Regardless of your theology, your religious background, and your place in this journey, you can nonetheless identify with the impossibility of some of the challenges that life throws our way, and of your desire—or lack of it—to be good stewards of your time, talent, and energy in meeting them. Some of us are well aware of our life purpose, and know with certainty the roadmap we are to follow in carrying it out. Some of us
are well aware of our life purpose, but quietly put it on the back burner for one reason or another. Fear of rejection? Of failure? Of the sheer magnitude of the purpose and the impossibility of achieving it? And some of us have no idea why we’ve been put into this time and place in history. We’re still groping for answers—or even worse—can’t even articulate the questions!

So it makes Mary’s response even more incredible to me. Faced with news that would confound the bravest among us, she responded with calm dignity and enjoyed the confidence that faith in Gabriel’s message allowed. With faith and assurance in God’s promise, she not only accepted the news; she offered herself as a willing servant. Immediately.

It is my hope that during this season of Christmas, you will be open to immediate service, too. That despite sad news, overwhelming odds, confusing trials and tribulations, and confounding problems in your everyday workaday world, you will grab hold of the promise—with confidence—that “Nothing is impossible with God.” And that you will fear not—like Mary—and agree to stand in the gap for service to others. It may be service to your children and to your spouse. Or to your next-door neighbor. It may be to complete strangers who are facing challenges beyond your comprehension and living as disenfranchised citizens of the world.

Regardless, move forward with confidence that service—while sometimes frightening, sometimes overwhelming, and almost always inconvenient—might just lead to events that could change the course of history. Like Mary.

NOTES:

(1) The Harris Poll #52, September 13, 2000.

Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson, 1993, 1994, 1995. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.