27. November 2012 · Comments Off on Six Perfect Redneck Date Movies · Categories: Relationships · Tags: , ,

Let’s make one thing perfectly clear, right off: redneck date movies, for the most part, are NOT being made today. Your average chick flick is something like Sex and the City – okay for most redneck women, but not what you’d call appealing to the redneck in her.

This gives a distinct advantage to the redneck man: the only absolutely great movies are only out on DVD. This means she has to go to your home to see them – or you need to go to hers. Need I say more on this?

Out of respect for men, there will be no Thelma and Louise in this list, and the movies listed will all include at least something that appeals to the men.

1. Gone With the Wind: This should be the centerpiece of your redneck date-movie library, if you can stand the length. this film is full of romance and drama and comedy and action – it’s the original Hollywood blockbuster, with something for everyone. Because it’s about a three-hour movie, plan a whole evening around it. Have dinner while watching it for the first half, then during the intermission move your dinner stuff out and replace it with your beverage of choice while relaxing on the couch.

2. Steel Magnolias: Okay, this one’s a little chick-flicky, but it’s a guaranteed winner for her, and if you don’t do anything stupid it should even guarantee you a second date. Steel Magnolias is about strong Southern women supporting each other, and though there are no car chases or action scenes more powerful than Dolly Parton’s hair being teased, you will probably enjoy it.

3. Anything by the Duke: You’re going to love these, and with John Wayne, the archetypical strong man, she should just melt. If you’d like a great love story, try The Quiet Man; for something a little more intensely masculine, try Rooster Cogburn. If she’s a military lover – and a lot of redneck women boast loved ones in the military these days – go for some of his war films.

4. Most pre-1960 romantic film classics: Start with Casablanca, and move through all the Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers films. If it includes Marilyn Monroe, Cary Grant, or Errol Flynn, grab it. These are movies most people don’t think of as redneck films – but they are films that promote the ethics Hollywood has lost. A fringe benefit: if you bring her to your house and you have a shelf of these films, she’ll be impressed with your sensitive side. You will not need to do anything additional.

5. Eve’s Bayou is nicely creepy, a psychological thriller set in the hot sultry damp of a Louisiana swamp. If you’re looking for something a little different that you can both discuss later, this is the one.

6. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood may overwhelm your testosterone, but it’s a really great movie for making her laugh. Only pick this one up if you’re able to stick out two hours of female empowerment and mushy romantic stuff. It is a fantastic movie, though, and will impress her with your understanding of women.

Not all these are for every redneck man or woman. You will discover when you begin to go through them, that even many of the female oriented ones will catch your eye. And if you show one of these on your first date, you can go with the ye-haa car chase movie on the second one.