Holidays for the divorced or widowed can be a very difficult time, alone.  Old memories of good times and happiness that has disappeared, can bring tears of regret and pain.  Could a change of attitude make a difference?  Is it possible that  the month of April could be YOUR time of celebration, YOUR Resurrection?

After having experienced divorce, separation or to have become widowed, you may feel as if you have been crucified, you may even have come to a point of wishing you would die, just to put an end to the suffering. If your “love” has either announced that they are leaving you or perhaps they really did die, you may have been left feeling empty and alone, devoid of a reason for carrying on…

You may wonder, how dare I suggest you could be resurrected from the death of your relationship? 

You say, “But you don’t understand, the pain, the anger, the fear, the devastation that I feel!  I am alone in my struggles, destroyed, betrayed!”  You may have even blamed God.

Perhaps if we center our thoughts on the journey of Jesus in His agony in the Garden of Gethsemane, we can come to a different perspective.  I am sure while alone in the garden His thoughts wandered to how His best friends and Apostles betrayed Him. They became lax in their support of Him when He felt most alone.  Where were they now when He was in such pain and expectation?  He must have considered His future journey towards crucifixion and the agony to come.  Being The Son of God and yet knowing His human experience was going to be painful, lonely and inescapable, surely it must have caused Him emotions of confusion and desperation.

There was no one to take the burden from His shoulders. It was His whole reason for meshing with humanity here on earth, but surely that part of Him that was human experienced the same emotions as we do.

That being said, if we could parallel our own pain with His, where are the nails in our hands and feet, where is the sword in our side?  Could we have willingly taken the burden of dying in this horrible way for the sins of all mankind, present and future? Is our pain a parallel to His? 

I remember asking my God in my divorce and at the death of my wonderful, second husband “Why, God?”  It wasn’t, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” But “Why God?”

Eventually, humility and understanding that I could relate to Jesus on a similar level replaced the wondering.  A camaraderie of sorts that says I feel your pain because I have trod in your path, reset the table for compassion instead of self-pity. I did not put myself on the level of the holy, but on a similar one, a brotherhood/sisterhood, a servant of sorts, and a disciple.  

I realized that, in my healing, my only recourse was to continue to serve in my human way as Jesus served me.  By becoming a disciple, by being a listening ear, a comforter, a person of understanding, my own healing arrived in many ways.

My “crucifixion” became a thing of joy, a penance for my sins and a thank you to my God for the learning experience of human reality. It became a “gift” of wisdom and understanding instead of an experience to lament.

When those who come to our support group with painful stories of betrayal, my answer that it is a “gift”, a learning experience, a journey of self-knowledge, is greeted with a look of incredulity, almost as if they would like to slug me.  But I insist God teaches us by the painful experiences we have to go through. Pain is an opportunity. Remember the walk of Jesus.

In your suffering because of betrayal and loss, imagine you, putting your feet in the Christ’s footprints in the sand. Experience the comfort of knowing your Leader is the one who loved you above all else and still does; the One who is responsible for your Easter.

Your Easter can be Your Resurrection!

“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” Jesus

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“I think if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves.  Otherwise it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him.”  C.S. Lewis

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“The folly which we might ourselves have committed is the one which we are least ready to pardon in another.”  Joseph Roux

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“We forgive to the extent that we love.” La Rouchefoucauld

I am sure I am not the first to question this but is feminism still working for our higher good? How accurate is the word feminism for women in 2009? Its roots are founded in a century with circumstances that surpass the memory of today’s modern woman. I personally am not sure I want to wear my feminist badge with pride anymore.

Firstly, lets get clear on what we are discussing here; according to the Oxford dictionary: Feminism means the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of sexual equality.

Earlier this year I attended a celebratory lunch for International Woman’s Day. I honestly (and now I realise naively) believed I was about to be showered with the energy and wisdom of successful women, publicly sharing their unique journeys of life ascending the corporate ladder. And then, if I was lucky enough to be seated at an inspirational table, to indulge in the mutual joys and tribulations of our own personal journeys as a woman in 2009.

However, the reality was slightly different. I am the first to appreciate woman are still competing in a man’s world on many different levels. I personally have been reproached by men for ‘looking a bit too young’, ‘too blonde’ and for my ‘non-suit’ business dress code. But surely when approximately 1000 women are all gathered in a huge conference room to celebrate the simple fact we are women, there should be a sense of unison and celebration?

Apparently not from where I was sitting. The speakers were highly accomplished women. Their success, as described during their introduction, would leave any impressionable 15 year old girl either giddy from excitement at the possibilities of life or nauseous at the societal benchmarks to be classified as a female success.

As lunch was served, the room lay motionless in anticipation for the pearls of wisdom from each speaker. It soon became apparent their words were not to be seeds of acknowledgment for the feminist journey travelled to date, but rather a bleak prediction for the long winding road that still lies ahead. So with this dark shadow cast over dessert, I turned back to my table in the vain hope of igniting some inspirational conversations to salvage what I believe to be a victory thus far on the feminist road. Yet to my horror I witnessed a synopses by each woman in turn on the performance of the speakers. One was encouraging, others scaling. I found myself holding on to my seat for support as I listened in disbelief to the judgments and verdicts sentenced to each speaker by their fellow women.

Admittedly some of the speeches weren’t the most spectacular known to mankind but doesn’t this lack of camaraderie simply add mileage to the long winding road ahead? We are all entitled to our opinion but would that opinion be better served working with other women rather than against them? Doesn’t feminism suggest men are suppose to be the persecutors?

Success for women is such an interesting concept. Our grandmothers and great-grandmothers deserve medals for the freedom they safeguarded for us. But do you think they knew they were fighting for this modern concept of “successful women”? A success whereby I must earn over $200K p.a., pop out two beautiful children, be happily married, ensure my business is growing to the next level, graduate with honours, monitor my figure, bake with Nigella’s grace and ensure my roots aren’t showing to earn the societal title of being a success? Okay, so this is a little far fetched but really, what is it one is supposed to be doing to be successful?

Only yesterday a colleague reminded me of the pressures on a woman with a university degree. Goodness help the graduate who just wanted to settle down and have a family. It is a brave and courageous woman who acts against this unspoken decree that “your education would be wasted if you don’t ‘use it” or “what was the point of 3-5 years of study if you’re not going to earn a big salary?” or “have you heard about my friend Sally’s daughter who was asked to assist the company’s CEO – she’s only 27 you know!” Don’t get me wrong, education is an essential part of life, but how you use it should be based on fulfillment and happiness not guilt or pressure.

Despite my luncheon experience of doom and gloom, from where I stand it is quite plain to see that we, women have come a very long way, an extremely long way indeed. We only need to be on the circulation list of an incessant email ‘forwarder’ to read the old exert from a 1960’s woman’s Good Housekeeping Guide about ‘How to keep your man happy’.

Enter the definition: women’s liberation; the liberation of women from inequalities and subservient status in relation to men, and from attitudes causing these. The topic women’s liberation is something that can really liven up a dinner party, be it fireworks of praise or criticism, every one has their own opinion and experience of how far women’s liberation has really come.

However, I am curious. If feminism has liberated us from the inequalities, attitudes and subservient status in relation to men, then why do I feel so trapped as a 30 something year old woman with the world as my oyster? Don’t get me wrong, I am not ungrateful for the opportunities that lay all around me, but I am simply unclear on how this liberation from men has magically shifted to wanting to be liberated from women?

Stop! I think I made a mistake. I need to exchange my feminist ticket for a different journey. Actually I already have. And I know several other women who have. My ticket to life now reads Womanism not Feminism. One way only. An amazing friend of mine who was also sat at this fateful table summoned this term to describe her similar belief that women aren’t always a member of the same sisterhood and men aren’t always the enemy. This is not to say issues such as the glass ceiling no longer exist. It simply stating we must not lose sight of all the other parts that make up being a woman and how we can approach life from another perspective.

For me, Womanism is about being authentic to who you truly are in this world. To be able to know where you stand in life and be able to build a world around you that reflects your values, beliefs and most importantly honours who you are on the inside as well as the outside.

Womanism is authenticity. Womanism leaves space for sisterhood as well as our male friends. Womanism is unique to each of us. We all bring our own different palette of colours to this world. Why aren’t we embracing this?

Imagine if we as women, decided universally to just stop. Stop with the ‘how far we still have to go’ talk, stop with the liberation fight, stop with the negativity, stop with the balancing act, stop with the bitching, stop with the glass ceiling battle, stop judging our sister who too is striving for happiness, stop with the need to be perfect, this list is endless.

And what if we all decided to just be who we are. Not who we should be, but simply who we are meant to be. Imagine if we all wore clothes that made us feel ultra feminine in the professional arena, imagine a variety of vibrant colour and sensual fabrics walking down a city street at lunchtime. Imagine bright red nail varnish, ‘just because I felt like it today’ or imagine shoes that expressed a glimpse of who you are rather sensibility. Obviously there may be consequences to any extreme make-over but the point is in being the full you and not a muted down version of the fabulous you.

I think it is time to stop and imagine. What life am I choosing for myself? What life am I subscribing too? What is my very own personal definition of success, liberation, feminism and even womanism? Do I really want to adhere to the fruits of feminists labour? Am I obliged? Ungrateful if I don’t? Is this what I want for my daughter?

I honestly feel we have come to a cross roads and being a woman is harder than ever before. Our identity is up to us, individually and also collectively. Who you choose to be, how you choose to spend your time, education, money, happiness etc is down to you. Please choose it wisely as our daughters need pioneers to lead us forward into a safe future of light, not darkness.

I know for me, I need to lead an authentic life. I choose to wear a badge of Womanism and welcome any woman who wants to join me. I want to confidently turn to my daughters or nieces in years to come and with my hand on my heart encourage them to embrace who they are, be true to what they believe and to ensure that the term “success” is clearly mapped out and defined according to their personal values. As they learn about the great achievements of feminism, I want them to hold on to the woman inside and proudly stand tall as the world is honoured with her true authentic presence.
About the Author:

In utilizing the Law of Attraction, or manifesting your intentions, or just plain progressing in your chosen path, there will always be times when you feel “stuck.” It may be that you feel bound by circumstances, or the scene isn’t playing out as expected, or maybe you’re just not sure where to go next – what move to make. Although you may (or may not) intellectually understand that all setbacks are as temporary as you allow them to be, it can be difficult to keep from getting frustrated, or even giving up.

First, let me reassure you that my life is NOT pie-in-the-sky perfection. I love every second, even the challenging ones (especially the challenging ones!), because I recognize that no matter what the circumstances, this is MY life, and I have so much to grateful for. Further, I know that my greatest growth will always come from adversity, not easy gains. It is imperative to understand that having that amazing power to manifest your intentions in all of the varied facets of your world is not about have a “perfect’ life where nothing goes wrong (and I postulate that that would, in fact, not be perfect either!), but about how you handle the challenges that will inevitably arise.

In the future, for the times when it seems all roads lead to dead ends, here are seven techniques for getting “unstuck.”

Identify specific problem areas – don’t let yourself be overwhelmed by the nebulous sense of frustration that “nothing is going right.” Sometimes, when you pinpoint the exact issue, you suddenly see that it is not as bad as you thought, as possibly even easily solved! Now that you’ve pinpointed your issues, identify what you feel is “holding you back.” Is it lack of time, resources, support, organization, education, fear of failure or of success? Address that issue. Is there anything that you can reasonably do to rectify it? If you’re not sure, ask for help! It’s amazing how often we get hung up on feeling like we have to solve every problem on our own, when there may be someone with an answer within arm’s reach! Recognize that everything you need to succeed already exists, and will come to you if you’ll allow it! Stop telling yourself that you can’t have something. Instead, try believing that you CAN! The universe wants to give you everything you want, but when you’re busy saying “I can’t have ______,” the universe interprets that to mean that you don’t really want it! When you put a question out to the universe, stop trying to figure out the answer! Get quiet enough so that the universe (or God, or your creative source, or whatever you call that inner voice that is WAY smarter than you) has a chance to get a word in edgewise! Then trust your instincts as you take action – they are there to guide you. Let go of the outcome. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t pursue your dreams, but if at every step of the way the cards seem stacked against you, it may be that you are pushing toward something that is not in your best interest, or at least going about it in the wrong way! Realize that you don’t always need to be “in control.” Your human consciousness – your ego – is so finite, you cannot possibly see all potential paths and outcomes… so what makes you suppose you can control them? Relax! The universe is always acting for your highest good! Why not go with the flow instead of fighting the current? You might be surprised to discover that more often than not, it carries you where you wished to go. Remember that at all times, every moment, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. It goes back to the old mantra, “Be Here Now.” There is no other time or place you can be, so take three deep breaths and just be grateful to be alive. You are only as “stuck” as you believe you are. Take this gift that is the present moment, and see what lesson it offers you. This will almost always free you to continue moving forward.

Wishing you a passionate, prosperous, and powerful day!
Kristy
a.k.a. The Average Goddess

When we got the call at 2 AM last Saturday, I hopped
out of bed with the thought that anyone faced with a
ring in the middle of the night would have: “Who in
the world would be calling us at this hour?”

I looked at caller ID and, not recognizing the
number—and seeing that it was not Nick, our son away
at college some thirteen hours from home—I yawned and
crawled back into bed, pulling the down covers way up
over my head.

Forgetting all about that middle-of-the-night-call, I
moved through Sunday morning as always: early morning
tennis, cherub choir rehearsal, church. I felt
particularly moved to go up to the altar that morning
to lift up little Katie, our 3-year-old friend who has
been in our hearts for the past couple of years. We
met in the same clinic where our son was treated for
leukemia. She was having a tough time and had been in
our family’s near-constant thoughts and prayers.
Barely leaving the altar, my daughter ran up and
grabbed me, forcing her cell phone into my jaw: “Mom.
It’s Daddy. He said it’s urgent.”

Heart pounding, I heard the news we had dreaded: Katie
had passed away last night. It was her mother who had
called us at 2 AM.

Last week was Super Bowl Sunday and it was my turn to
write my annual “Playing Hurt” newsletter. But I
couldn’t move. Couldn’t talk. Couldn’t think.
Certainly couldn’t write. I was playing hurt. And was
immobilized. Right in the middle of the field.

Monday took me to New York City to meet with the mom
and dad. I told them I’d like to be with them. Help
them do errands in preparation for the next couple of
days ahead. Visitation. Cremation. Could I be their
hands and feet? Walking eighteen blocks in the blazing
cold of the northeast last week, arm in arm the three
of us as we walked down First Avenue in search of the
florist who had come highly recommended, we began the
painful process of selecting the flowers for Katie’s
casket.

Sometimes when we play hurt we understand what’s going
on. We accept the hurt as part of the natural state of
affairs. A grandparent dies and we are sad, certainly.
But we look at his or her long life and we accept the
end. Sometimes accidents happen and we agonize over
the injuries sustained by a loved one. Yet we
understand that healing will eventually occur and that
bones will eventually mend.

And then sometimes we endure things that never make
sense to us. Will never. Crib death. Death of a
toddler. Childhood cancer.

Playing hurt this year finds many of us in the Katie
Camp mourning her passing, something which none of us
could have ever imagined as possible. The spunkiest,
brightest, funniest, cutest kid one could envision had
left us. We had all sensed that she would fight the
leukemia and go on to live a very long and happy life.
She brought each and every one who had ever come into
contact with her unspeakable joy! She locked eyes with
mine two years ago and crawled into my heart, only to
stay there forever. The sadness I feel over her
leaving us is, frankly, nearly unbearable.

I am trying to stay focused on Katie’s spirit, and my
faith leads me to believe that she is in a better
state. Watching us from above, I know that she has
joined the heavenly realm and that she is dancing with
the angels. Staying focused on eternity is the only
way that I am able to get through the motions of these
days.

Most of us are carrying around a burden or two every
day. Illness. Separation. Prodigal children.
Brokenness. It is not the playing hurt that separates
you from me. We are all playing hurt. Daily, to one
degree or another. Playing joyfully while playing hurt
is the most difficult thing in the world to do. It is
our ability to play hurt with some level of abiding
joy that marks us as victorious in this daily thing
called life. Being able to infuse joy into the
patterns of living—while playing hurt—is one of our
greatest earthly challenges.

I pray that you are well. And that if are hurt—like I
am right now—that you shall try to find joy in the
morning. As shall I.
About the Author:

Dances of Universal Peace uses dance as a means of reconciliation and fostering peace. Dance can express all human emotions and lead to transcendental states. The Dances of Universal Peace are Sacred Dances which do not require any musical or dance experience. The sessions are about taking part and are not a performance. There are no special costumes. Comfortable clothes are the only requirement. The setting for the dances should have a peaceful, sacred feeling.

A session begins by everyone joining hands and forming a circle with the Dance Leader and musicians in the middle. The Leader then teaches the words, music and movements. The background history associated with that particular dance is explained.

There are more than 400 Dances of Universal Peace drawn from many faiths and traditions. They focus on themes such as Peace in all its contexts, healing of the Earth, it’s peoples, its flora and fauna and in the deeper mysteries.This inclusion of the beliefs of many peoples and religions creates an opening of the heart and a feeling of the brotherhood and sisterhood of all peoples. Performing the dances help the participants to understand and appreciate both the similarities and differences of various religions and cultures.

On the occasions when the dance lyrics include sacred phrases in languages not spoken by the participants the pronunciation of the words is very carefully taught. The majority of dances are only four lines long and are repeated over and over again. The combination of these factors is that the participants learn the songs quickly and easily. Within ten minutes everyone is singing, dancing and sharing the wonderful power of the dances.

The Dances of Universal Peace were collated in the late 1960’s by Samuel L. Lewis (1896-1971) a Sufi teacher and Zen Master. He studied in great depth the mystical traditions of Hinduism, Judaism, and Christianity. Hazrat Inayat Khan and Ruth St. Denis were major influences on his thinking. In the 70’s Lewis began to create the dances as a way of promoting “Peace through the Arts”.The dances celebrate Hinduism, Buddhism, Zoroastrianism, Sikhism, Judaism, Christianity, Islam as well as the Aramaic, Native American, Native Middle Eastern, Celtic, Native African, and Goddess traditions.

The dances are categorized under headings such as “Dervish Dances.” Dervish Cycle and Allah Snake Dance are examples from this group.There are also “Mantric Dances” such as Hare Rama Hare Krishna Dance and Ram Sita Circle Dance, and “Angelic” dances such as Moon Dances and “Tis the Gift to be Simple” which is a well known Shaker tune.

The dances encompass many moods – love, joy and compassion – as exemplified by the Buddha Qwan Yin,or the extrovert energy of Krishna is expressed in the dance. Individuals experience a dynamic relationship between the group, the individuals within the group and themselves.

Penny Xerri gives an account of “Sharing the Dances with Special Needs Students.” .She writes “One of the delights of working with Special Needs students is the immediacy of their response; if excited, they may jump up and down; if tired sit down; if pleased with themselves they often want to acknowledge that with a round of applause.Perhaps there is a lesson in Zen here. Another pleasure for me is their willingness to experiment, both with sound and movement, no matter how profound their disabilities. (One of our students has virtually no sight, another has speech that is virtually unintelligible and the majority may exhibit obsessive behaviour patterns, such as repetitive speech and movements, if in any way upset.)

Responding to the students’ needs and difficulties in the dances requires that the “able-bodied” offer a variety of support and improvised adaptations. I am fortunate in being supported not only by an accompanist, Ian Salmond, but also by Bill Thompson, a volunteer tutor. Both of these provide a strong male presence and constructive feedback. Additionally, the college in which I work provides “carers” for the students. These carers provide not only student support but exhibit considerable enthusiasm and commitment to the dances.

This level of support makes it feasible to bring the essence of the dances, whilst being very pragmatic with adaptations. These range from simplifying steps, such as substituting a straightforward walk for sidesteps, to including short periods of sitting whilst vocally rehearsing the familiar dances, or learning new ones, as our students tend to tire more quickly than their able-bodied counterparts. On a physical level, we sometimes support the hands of students, whilst adopting gestures or making turns, always being mindful not to “invade”. Challenges we are still working with include keeping the momentum of the dance (there is a tendency for the students to come to a halt after each “round”) and to hold the silence on completion of each dance beyond a few moments.”

In 25 years the Dances of Peace have spread throughout the world. New dance circles are springing up. They help spread feelings of reverence, creativity and a connection to the Earth. The dances are shared in such places as schools, therapy situations, prisons, hospices, rehabilitation centers and by people with physical and mental disabilities. Dance in general is finding a place in the process of Peace and Reconciliation in areas of armed conflict.

Heads of State should be obliged to take part in dances of universal peace before any important conference or meeting!

http://www.dance-to-health-help-your-special-needs-child.com
About the Author:

WE ARE ALL CONNECTED

God often speaks to me and gets my attention through the use of symbols. My two symbols are the butterfly and the turtle. I didn’t realize until recently how I must embrace both energies to live a balanced and fulfilling life. The turtle and the butterfly teach me many lessons and I am grateful for both. I believe we are all connected and can learn from one another.

For two days in a row, I put my turtle necklace on that my son gave me for Christmas. I didn’t consciously plan it, but I wore two different butterfly shirts on both days. As I looked in the mirror admiring my necklace, my eyes immediately fell to the butterfly on my shirt and I had an “Ah” moment. I knew in my spirit that it wasn’t a coincidence that the turtle was so close to the butterfly.

The turtle is grounded, connected to the earth and Spirit. It moves slowly, but steadily. It doesn’t appear to be in a rush and is content with its progress. It doesn’t have to be anywhere so it enjoys the journey and it trusts that it is exactly where it needs to be. It knows when to rest, be still and just be. The turtle is not afraid to just be and moves with confidence. It knows when to go in and protect and nourish itself. It also knows when to stick its head out into the world, take action and move. The turtle accepts “what is” and understands that having his head in or out are both essential parts of its journey.

How I want to be like the turtle and embrace its energy and wisdom. For me, sticking out my head may be moving in faith when I’m afraid and don’t feel good enough or deserving. Or it may be speaking up and confronting someone when I don’t want to. It may be just having fun and letting my passions run wild. Like the turtle, I go within and connect with God for wisdom, peace, and guidance. I know everything I need is inside of me.

The butterfly has freed itself from its cocoon after much struggle and strain. No longer is it a caterpillar crawling on the ground for others to step on. It’s able to fly and soar in freedom. It goes where it wants to go bringing beauty and Love for all to see. It’s free to do and be what it wants to be. Its wings flutter and it goes from tree to bush and back up into the sky.

I like to think of myself as a butterfly as I allow the wind and spirit to carry me wherever it wants to take me. It’s called “going with the flow or in the flow.” I am a butterfly when I use my gifts and talents for the good of all those around me. For many years, I struggled to set myself free from my own self-imposed cocoon of not believing and loving myself. My inner voice tried to stop me by telling me “You’re not good enough or deserving enough.” But my soul wanted to soar, and with the grace of God, I set myself free to become the woman God created me to be.

Like the turtle, I keep myself grounded through a daily spiritual practice of prayer and meditation so I can fly like the butterfly and spread Love and Joy to all around me. My spirit and wings are strong. I’m in the flow as I listen to what Spirit wants me to do and where it wants me to go. I no longer have to push myself or make things happen. I trust, rest, surrender, let go and let miracles find me.

To go higher and fly like the butterfly, I go deeper into my spirituality and just BE. I listen to that small still voice of God within and say YES to life and all it has to offer me.

Growing up in the fifties and sixties, my two favorite things to do were to read comic books and go to the movies at a downtown theatre, which was long before we had video games, personal computers, or DVDs.

I learned from comics that I wanted to be like the superheroes, especially ‘Superman’, because they always helped people who were in trouble. At the theatre, it was like magic, the smell of popcorn and the thrill of escape from the doldrums of reality and into the world of adventure.

Reaching adulthood, I became a Christian and reading my Bible became a high priority. I gained a great deal of comfort reading Proverbs and Psalms. It soothed my fears and helped me feel closer to God, which is something I always wanted. I had my favorite Bible verses, like Philippians 4:6 “Be anxious for nothing……” and Psalms 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God….”.

However, I still have a fervent passion for movies and I find that when I can’t get someone to read a book for their own personal growth and development, I can always get them to watch a good movie.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from great movies I have seen and what I learned from them:

“It is only at the end of a man’s life when he realizes how important his decisions were at the beginning”.
-The King of Denmark from “The Prince & Me”

The wisdom of this statement hit me squarely between the eyes.

In our youth, we make decisions all the time not giving much thought as to how it will affect us later in life. When we, as elders, try to share some of our hard earned wisdom with our children, they look at us as if we were from another planet.

“Let us learn to show our friendship for a man when he’s alive, not after he’s dead”.
-Meyer Wolfsheim from “The Great Gatsby”

This conveys to me that we should not take our friendships for granted. We should honor a friend while they are alive and do things for them now. It is too late, once they have passed away, to show them how much we cared about them in this lifetime.

“Life changes because it has to.”
-from “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”

This is a great reminder for those of us who stay stuck in our ways, or worse, stuck in the past. I have always promoted that we should “learn from the past, live in the present, and hope for the future”. This can be much harder to do than it sounds but, nevertheless, its good advice.

“And don’t forget….. don’t ever forget. You’ve promised to become a new man, Jean Valjean, my brother. You no longer belong to evil. With this silver, I’ve bought your soul. I’ve ransomed you from fear and hatred. Now I give you back to God.”
-Monsignor from “Les Miserables”

When I heard this passage it gave me ‘goose bumps’ because it was so powerful.

I learned that incredible kindness can win over evil and a hardened heart. Jean Valjean spent the rest of his life making sacrifices for others, showing great kindness for his fellow man (and woman). This movie was very inspiring about demonstrating the extreme contrast between human cruelty and human kindness. Ultimately, kindness trumps cruelty in the end.

“You can’t have living without dying. Don’t be afraid of death…… be afraid of the ‘unlived life’”
-Angus Tuck from “Tuck Everlasting”

I found these to be powerful words since so many of us fear death. We can be so overwhelmed with this fear that we forget to enjoy the life that we have. Life is so very short and too precious to waste.

“You got to get busy living or get busy dying”
-Andy Dufresne from “The Shawshank Redemption”

It is easy to allow life’s hardships to paralyze us into immobility where we do nothing and accomplish nothing. In a sense, if we are not busy with life, then spiritually and emotionally, we are dying. Andy chose to get busy living.

“Never wrestle with a pig…… you both get dirty, only the pig likes it”
-from “Good Advice”

From this statement, we learn that we have to be careful with whom we do battle. Some folks thrive on conflict and very little peace can be found in their relationships. We must “avoid loud and aggressive persons, for they are vexations to the spirit” [from the poem, Desiderata].

“I would rather have thirty minutes of ‘wonderful’ than a lifetime of ‘nothing special’.”
-Shelby from “Steel Magnolias”

Even though Shelby was putting her health at risk to have a baby, she still wanted the experience and joy of having a child even if it meant she would not live as long. The desire to procreate and to parent is a very powerful one. I think she made a very profound and cogent argument for having children, or doing something great for a moment rather than to “live the unlived life”.

“My momma always said, ‘you got to put the past behind you before you can move on’.”
-Forrest from “Forrest Gump”

Sometimes we are bogged down by events from our past and it can be difficult to move on with our lives because we can not escape it. Often we do have to deal with our apperceptions, that is, the way we perceive ourselves, the world, and others, based on our earlier emotional experiences.

“Its not who you are underneath, its what you do that defines you.”
-Rachel Dawes from “Batman Begins”

This statement reminds me of the old adage, “you have to be careful about your thoughts because your thoughts become your words. You have to be careful about what you say, because your words become your actions. You have to be careful about what you do, because your actions become your habits, and you have to be careful about your habits because, collectively, your habits become your character.” Your thoughts, words, actions, and habits are behaviors that define who you are and what your ‘character’ will be.

“Now I have no choice….. God put you in my way.”
-Harry from “The Four Feathers”

Often times, God will place people in our path, either to help them, or to have them help us. It is a responsibility that the Lord gives us when someone comes into our lives. We cannot shun that duty.

“You haven’t really lived unless you have something to regret.”
-Dr. Blalock from “Something The Lord Has Made”

We all make mistakes and a part of living is doing things that we regret. I heard this as a strong statement about the human condition of sin. Not that we should set out to do wrong, but that because we are imperfect, we are bound to make mistakes and, hopefully, we will regret those mistakes and ask for forgiveness.

“Every man is going to die……. Its what you do before dying that’s important.”
-from “Vertical Limit”

Another interesting statement about how we live our life that defines us. The message is, don’t waste what time you have. Make the most of living and do things to help other people. This, and God, is what gives our lives meaning.

“Nothing wrong with old age…….. as long as you get there.”
-Julia Sullivan from “Frequency”

Entering into the final stages of our lives is not easy. Aging can be difficult as our bodies begin to breakdown and we cannot do the things that we once did. People who age gracefully with a positive attitude tend to live longer than folks who wallow in self-pity, and negative thinking.

A friend of mine once said that she did not mind growing older, because the “alternative was much worse.” She was right.

So, I have gained much from watching movies. As many people are, I know I am a visual learner.

After twenty-four years of reading books for public school and four colleges, sometimes it’s just nice to lean back and watch a good movie, especially those that will illustrate one of life’s many lessons.

Finally, another of my favorite Bible verses is one that I instructed my wife to someday place on my headstone, at the time of my death. The verse reads:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
- 1 Timothy 4:7

From movies, or from scripture, there is a great deal about life to learn from watching and reading.
About the Author:

[Note: This paper contains images which may be seen as originally published at our website]

According to its votaries, the hand of the crucified Jesus is believed to possess occult virtues. When worn as an amulet it is said to be an all-round good-luck charm. Prayers are said in conjunction with its presence on one’s person. One prayer associated with this particular amulet is as follows:

“I carry a likeness of your pierced hand as a fervent symbol of your infinite kindness. Thou who has known such suffering, reach out your hand with a blessing. Thy pierced hand inspires this humble prayer that I may call on Thee to grant me peace and happiness. Amen.”

Generally, charms in the form of hands, and in any pose–whether made of metal, stone, or inscribed–were often carried to ward off the “Evil Eye,” or the ietattura as it is called in Southern Italy, or ain al-hasad, the “Eye of Envy,” by the Arabs. The ancient Sumerians referred to it as IG-HUL, “Eye Evil.” The Evil Eye is an ancient belief and not without any metaphysical substantiation. From the metaphysical point of view, eyes radiates energy and the quality of this force is tainted by the will and character of its emanator. Like all forces, the power flowing from the eyes may bless or curse others. There are many examples of amulets with a single eye on the palm of the hand. It is believed that this attracts the Evil Eye in accord with the Law of Attraction and absorbs its malevolent influences.

In order to counteract the malignant rays emanating from the eyes of negative individuals, the Hamsa Hand, or the Hand of Fatima charm was invented by the Arabs to re-direct these individuals’ willful attention and malefic glances. Fatima was the daughter of the Prophet Muhammed and Khadijah. She was said to be a very virtuous woman, and it is believed that the charms representing her embody all of her solid virtues and would protect and bring good fortune to its bearer. The fingers of the Hand of Fatima symbolically represent the five pillars of Islam: 1) observance of the Ramadhan fast; 2) pilgrimage to Mecca; 3) alms-giving; 4) observance of the daily prayers; 5) profession of faith. The right hand is used to symbolize the Hand of Fatima, for it is the hand of honor, in contradistinction to the left, which is the “unclean hand.” In most Eastern cultures it is considered rude and inappropriate to give things with the left hand.

Like the Arabs, the ancient Egyptians used a symbol called “the Great Hand” for various protective purposes, one of which is to ward off evil magnetism. Most hand amulets appear with a single eye on the palm. There are instances of this in various cultures.

Amulets were not of value only to the living, but to the “dead” as well. In ancient Egypt, an amulet called dejebaui, or “two-fingers” were often placed among a mummy’s swathings to help the deceased one to ascend and ride on the boat of Ra to the afterlife. This amulet depicted the index and middle fingers and was usually made out of black basalt, green stone, or obsidian.

During the enunciation of a pledge the right hand is often raised in the air. This originated in ancient customs where the raising of the hands were used to invoke the presence of the gods. Raising the right hand while making a pledge is therefore, tantamount to saying, “In the name of God . . .” Another version is to place the right hand on a holy book while uttering an oath. The significance is similar to the above.

In the West, many hand-signs have been made popular with its constant use throughout the centuries. For instance we have the V-sign with the index and middle finger raised while the others flexed and clasped by the thumb. This signified victory and triumph. Similar to this is the Mano Cornuto, where only the index and little finger are raised, and the rest folded onto the palms. This represents horns, the devil, and the powers of evil. In the Orient, though, this sign is said to have the power to ward off demons. Kuan Yin is often depicted with this mudra. The Hung Society of China uses it as a sign of membership and also to signify “Man,” who embodies both Heaven and Earth. In Italian witchcraft, the Mano Cornuto represents the crescent moon of the goddess Diana.

Another prominent hand sign is the Mano Fica, or figa, the sign of coitus where the thumb protrudes between the first and second fingers of the closed hand. It is of ancient origin The Romans and Etruscans were well familiar with this sign having made images of it. Lika Mano Cornuto, the latter sign is a popular amulet against negative forces. Crossing the index finger with the middle finger also has a sexual significance. It symbolizes the generation of life and by association a good outcome in one’s hopeful expectations, in one’s enterprise possessing an ambiguous upshot. Another sexual gesture much more explicit is the repeated insertion and withdrawal of the forefinger of the right hand (the phallus) into a circle formed by the thumb and index finger of the left hand (the vulva). The pose of the left hand in the above gesture is also an “O.K.” sign.

One of the old superstitions states that the sexual act brings good luck, good fortune, and prosperity. Perhaps because of its connection to fertility rites where the energy aroused and released during sexual ceremonies in open fields is believed to empower crops to grow abundantly. This belief is also one of the reasons why phallic and coital amulets were carried on one’s person. Such charms were thought to bring about fortunate circumstances to the wearer. Sexual amulets made out of metal, bone, and wood were very popular in the classical worlds of Greece and the Roman Empire.

A hand sign that is mainly used by the sacerdotal priesthood of the Christian Churches, is the Mano Pantea. This is the sign of benediction posed by extending the thumb and first two fingers. The ring and little fingers are folded onto the palms. This mudra can be seen in the various paintings and murals of Jesus, the Saints, and priests. In Latin countries, the Mano Pantea is also often used as an amulet against the “Evil Eye,” when thus employed it is normally covered with other protective symbols as reinforcements.

An upraised thumb represents the erect phallus and is a sign for life, success, prosperity, and acceptability. In contrast, the downward pointing thumb denotes defeat and is the veto sign of condemnation or the death sentence. The middle finger solitarily extended is one of the obscene gestures vulgarly referred to as, “up yours.” It signifies the command to perform an unnatural or perverse sexual act.

The famed Buddhist temple, Borobudur in the island of Java was constructed in the form of a mandala–a symbolic diagram of the cosmos. It is built in tiers, and at every level, there are numerous statues of Buddhas sitting in silent meditation. At each point of the compass the contemplative Buddhas assume a certain mudra. Those facing North bear the Abhaya (fearlessness) mudra, while those in the East show the Bhumisparsha (earth-touching) gesture. The Dana (giving) mudra is the hand pose of the Buddhas facing South, and the Dhyana (meditation) mudra of those facing West. Other mudras in the precincts of the temple are also to be found such as the Vitarka (debate) and Dharmachakraprayartana (teaching) gestures. This careful orientation of mudra bearers to compass points is symbolic. It is related to the quaternary principles to be found in the micro- and macrocosm. Comprehensive teachings concerning these may be found in the esoteric aspects of Buddhism and esotericism in general.

Symbolic marks or imprints are often found on the palms of statues and icons of Buddhas and Avatars. These marks indicate the power, virtue, or attribute of these God-incarnates. In Hinduism, Shiva appears the most with these hand drawings. Many kinds of marks exist. Several are to be found on just the palms of Gautama (Shakyamuni) Buddha alone. These palmar designs probably originated from the special marks that do physically appear on the palms. Cheiromancy identifies several of these as the square, the grille, the island, the cross or star, etc.

Hands were revered by the Hindus for centuries. One of the Shivaic tantrik rituals of India gives the following liturgical adoration to the fingers of the hands:

“Om Sham I bow to the thumbs Namah. Om Shim I bow the index fingers Svaha. Om Shum I bow to the middle fingers Vashat. Om Shaim I bow to the ring fingers Hum. Om Shaum I bow to the little fingers Vaushat. Om Shah I bow to the front and back of hands Phat.”

This chant is accompanied by specific mudras that purifies the subtle channels of the upper limbs. Not only is this ritual practiced in India but variations of it may be found in Bali as well.

In the marriage ceremonies and sexual rites of Oriental cultures such as in Tantrism, Yoginis or Shaktis often paint Yantras and other symbolical diagrams on the palms of their hands with henna or red dye. These diagrams normally have intricate floral patterns and are magical and hypnotic. They are used to attract, to mesmerize, and to empower themselves and their sexual partners.

In Islamic mysticism, specific gestures are often employed to help produce an altered state of awareness. Dervishes, for instance, pose their hands in specific mudras and hand signs while dancing and whirling around on a single spot. Some Sufi sects would trace the 99 names of God on their bodies with their right hand while engaging in zikir, or recollecting and focusing upon God through constant chanting.

In ancient times there were the Mystery Schools that taught to the selected few the laws and secrets of Nature and the Universe. History has recorded numerous of these schools and temples of esoteric knowledge among which were the mysteries of Isis, Sabazius, Cybele, Eleusis, Orpheus, Mithra, Asar-Hapi, and Odin. To state the mission and purpose of these metaphysical institutions we can do no better than to quote the eminent Freemason, Robert Macoy:

“It appears that all the perfection of civilization, and all the advancement made in philosophy, sciences, and art among the ancients are due to those institutions which, under the veil of mystery, sought to illuminate the sublimest truths of religion, morality, and virtue, and impress them on the heart of the disciples. Their chief object was to teach the doctrine of one God, the resurrection of man to the eternal life, the dignity of the human soul, and to lead the people to see the shadow of the deity, in the beauty, magnificence, and splendor of the universe.”

Within some of these Mystery schools, when the candidate is first initiated and accepted as a neophyte, he or she is often given an effigy of a human hand filled with symbolic images to contemplate. This hand is referred to as the Hand of the Philosopher, or the Hand of the Mysteries. When these symbols are understood, they provide the neophyte the keys to facilitate the transformation of their lower nature into divinity–from man to god. Regeneration, transmutation, and empowerment are the consequence of the application of the laws and principles that these ancient symbols represent. Among the many secrets that they portray, they teach how one may commune with one’s Holy Guardian Angel, or one’s Higher Self. The practitioner of the secrets of the Mysteries undergo a rebirth as a result of the growing influence and expression of the Higher Self in everyday consciousness.

The Philosopher’s Hand may be regarded as an alchemical manual taking the conscientious student step by step through the alchemical process. In Freemasonry, the Hand of the Mysteries is known as the hand of the Master Mason. In some Masonic groups, this is the title for the highest of the three degrees to be found in the hoary and august fraternity. In this article we have included three examples of these symbolical hands. The first illustration shown is a bronze hand to be found in the British Museum. This specimen in the Mano Pantea gesture, is covered with several important symbols among which are : a ram’s head, serpent, frog, vase, crocodile, turtle, cornucopia, scales, woman with child, table with loaves of bread, and a cane. It is supposed to be Egyptian in origin.

The second hand is a painting redrawn by J. Augustus Knapp from an 18th century water color, and is taken from Manly Hall’s “Secret Teachings of All Ages”; it was executed with the alchemical process in mind. In this illustration there is a figure of a fish which symbolizes mercury–the principle of the Spirit within the microcosm. This aquatic creature is surrounded by the element of fire that represents the psychological aspect of man, or the human soul. The rest of the fingers individually refer to the various steps of the spiritual path of transmutation of the base nature of man into the resplendent gold of divinity. Kaballistically, the hand shows the mastership of the crowned thumb (the Will) over the four worlds represented by the fingers. These four worlds are referred to as Atziluth, Briah, Yetzirah, and Assiah, or the World of Archetypes, the World of Creation, the World of Formation, and the World of Manifestation. Atop of the fingertips in Knapp’s illustration are symbols representing the various components of the microcosm: the lantern, the Concrete Mind; the Sun, the Abstract Mind; the Star, Buddhi; the Crown, Atma. The little finger holds aloft a philosophical key, which reveals the secrets of the Mysteries. It also symbolizes the etheric body, which is considered by Western Initiates as the key to occult development. The wings surrounding the hand is a sign for transcendentalism–the things of the Spirit as opposed to matter. The eyes, on the other hand, indicate the divine aspect of omniscience unfolded in the Master Mason after having discovered and applied the “Lost Word.”

Hindu versions of the Hand of the Mysteries are diagrams known as Hastakara Yantra. Like their Western counterpart, these hands have various symbolic images depicted on them. Among other things they illustrate the relationship between man and the cosmic forces.

Like Hindu yoga, in Feng Shui, or Chinese geomancy, there are 5 elements: Water, Wood, Earth, Fire, and Metal. In Chinese palmistry the little finger is associated with air, the ring finger with fire, the middle finger with earth, the forefinger with water, and the thumb with chi or metal as mentioned before. This system differs from the Hindu yogic mudra tradition. First of all, in yoga philosophy the fifth element is akasha or space, which although correspond to chi, does not relate to metal at all. According to mudra teachings, Angutha or the thumb corresponds to fire, Tarjani or the forefinger to air, Madhyam or the middle finger to akasha, Anamika or the ring finger to earth and Kanishthika, or the little finger to water. In this work on mudras, we will stress more on the Hindu yogic assignment of the elements to the fingers and thumb. The application of elemental mudras in conjunction with the elemental tattvic tides is a great tool in elemental magick.

Hand Signs in Religious Art

Hand signs are an essential part of life. They are used to convey silently but powerfully the intention and thoughts of their user. Humanity has for ages utilized sign languages. It originated at a period of Man’s evolution when he was incapable of communicating his abstract and concrete thoughts with words and phrases lingually. He was solely dependent upon gesticulations as a media for expressing his feelings and passions. This primitive form of communication is still being used by modern man in certain situations and expediency. Not surprisingly, the intelligent classes of anthropoids also make use of hand-sign movements such as the beating of the chest in expressing anger or authority. The fictitious Tarzan could not resist aping this gesture from his Darwinian guardians.

Certain specific hand signs are to be found all over the world. Many cultures preceding and succeeding the Christian era share common gestures that express particular concepts. It has been suggested that these gestures all have comparable basic ideas or significance because of their appearances in similar contexts. This is known through their repeated portrayal in the many paintings, sculptures, and drawings of the past available for our scrutiny and study. Mediaeval Christian art of saints, prophets, and the Holy Trinity, and the gods and devas of Egypt, India and the South American Indians are often depicted with similar hand positions.

Contemporarily, we find school children perpetuating certain traditional signs that have their origin in religion and pagan practices. For instance, crossing the fingers as a sort of prayer so that they may be free from chastisement when interrogated of their wrong behavior–this may be a corrupted form of the ecclesiastical use of the Sign of Benediction.

There are many professions that make use of signs only known to their members or affiliates. For instance, merchants, masons, tramps, gamblers, prostitutes–all have signs known only to themselves with which they signal one another.

Because of the profuse use of signs and gestures by the Italians in their everyday life, anthropologists believe that these descendents of Romulus and Remus are not able to carry out a satisfactory conversation if they were prevented the use of gesticulation.

Occultists believe that most gestures or hand signs that are found in religion and in society have a common origin in the prevalent Mystery Schools of the past where they were used in a ceremonial setting. Modern Freemasonry as one of the many descendents of these Occult Temples of Wisdom and Knowledge still perpetuates this custom of hand signs in their initiatory rites.

Like the Freemasons, secret societies in the Orient also have ceremonies where esoteric signs are employed. One of the secret associations of China, the Hung Society, have certain signs and gestures with which communication is carried-out among the affiliated members–not only in the ceremonies but in everyday life as well. The aforementioned society, likewise, have plentiful mudras or signs representing the principles of their philosophy. In its doctrines, the five elements of Taoist esotericism are signified by poses that are also to be found elsewhere around the globe.

The mystical Dervishes, established by the Sufi Rumi, apply hand signs for occult purposes. They invoke the Divine Presence by utilizing these signs that corresponds with the 99 names of God in their dance rituals, as already alluded to previously.

Artists of all ages have secret codes and teachings with which they unveil in their artwork. In archaic times it was a dangerous matter to openly publicize occult and spiritual teachings that religions steeped in fundamentalism were dramatically opposed to for these teachings threatened their political structure and lessen their value in the eyes of an evolving humanity. It is for this reason that the Mystery and metaphysical schools established by the ancient sages went underground and operated clandestinely. They promulgated their teachings through signs and symbols that acted on one level as their calling card.

Copyright © 2006 Luxamore
About the Author:

I’ve been giving much thought lately to “spread,” or to the impact I’m having on those around me. Most days find me frustrated that I don’t have very much of it, feeling that once I’m gone, my legacy won’t be large enough, that enough lives won’t have been positively affected by my having been here, and that I won’t have had the effect that I always hoped I would have had.

Our society is celebrity-driven and success-oriented, so oftentimes I feel that unless I’m doing something that’s truly in the limelight, nothing I can say or write will have enough impact to much matter. I suffer from the “little ole’ me” syndrome, which is rather unfortunate, as I feel quite certain that little folks and little words generally matter more for all eternity than most of the great “success” stories alive today.

I realize all too well the impact of small acts of kindness. Of gentle words spoken to a neighbor, funny lines imparted to a weary colleague, or the impact of taking time out of a busy schedule to visit wounded, frightened or sickened loved ones.

I realize, especially as I get older, that serendipity happens, and that we need to rejoice in it. That people come into our lives for but a short time and that each one plays a distinct role. That circumstances are oftentimes orchestrated by our Creator. That His mysteries should be embraced, reveled in with joy and wonder, and celebrated for what they are.

I’ve also made the conscious decision to divest out of activities that take me away from my passions. I realize more than ever how my time is limited and that I need to invest it where I feel called to impart the largest spread. Teaching our church’s cherub choir of three, four and five-years olds is one of the highlights of my week. I have the distinct sense that serving these little ones is where I need to be one day a week. As I reflect back on my own childhood and on those dear souls who had significant spread during those years, I can count them on two hands. One of them was my Sunday School teacher who, forty-five years ago, had such a strong impact on me that all these years later, she always bubbles to the top of my list.

I’m still out-of-town on a business trip. I’m meeting new people daily and wondering where in the world my place is in all of this. Wondering why I’m supposed to be here, away from my own family. What I’m supposed to be learning and imparting. Whose life will cross mine. Who needs a kind word. A laugh. Encouragement. Trying to find out if I’ll spread.

How about you? Where are you? Are you supposed to walk alongside someone this week? Are you supposed to spread? And if you feel too spent by motherhood, by your spouse, or by your daily four loads of laundry, will you recognize those moments when you’re supposed to spread? Or those people put into your path who you are supposed to impact? We’re all on the journey together, that much I know. It’s figuring out the important stuff that keeps me up at night…..
About the Author: