We modestly offer sex advice consisting of short alphabetical pieces. We aim to improve your sex life. Each article includes at least two positive and two negative suggestions, based on words that you never thought were sexy. Review these proposals and schemes before closing your door on the way out, and once again before opening your zipper on the way in.

Early. The early bird gets the worm. If you can do it early then you still have a chance at another round that evening. Of course we mean with the same partner. What were you thinking? Early to bed, early to rise…

Effort. Make the effort. What can you lose? Not much besides a put down, a punch in the mouth, a slap from his or her partner, or a sexually transmitted disease. The list goes on. Think positively. Make the effort. What’s a little put down? Don’t go after someone who is presently attached. Use a condom, guys. Make sure he uses a condom, gals. Make the effort.

Feeling. Show your feelings. And feel what’s showing, and what’s not showing. You don’t have to go around singing Morris Albert’s 1975 pop hit. If you do you will be in good company including Ella Fitzgerald (does Gerald fit Ella?), Frank Sinatra, Elvis Presley, and Sarah Vaughan. I hesitate to suggest that you don’t sing. Do what you do best. Feelings.

Fact. Does anybody here remember Jack Webb as Sgt. Joe Friday of the Los Angeles Police Department in Dragnet saying, “Just the facts ma’am”? What about that old joke, “Did you hear what happened to Helena Rubenstein?” “No” “Max Facked Her (Max Factor.)” Stick to the facts but you are allowed to embellish them once in a while.

And now for some things to avoid.

Endurance. Make it last. But the sex act or acts are not an endurance contest. Don’t go for a personal best against the clock and in all likelihood against your partner’s wishes. Otherwise you may find that he or she can no longer endure you.

Fake. I guess if you stick to the facts you can’t fake it. What about going half way, moaning but not groaning? Or was it groaning but not moaning? That the trouble with faking it, you have to work hard to remember what you said and what you did. And watch yourself in some delicatessens where not only the Mock Turtle Soup is fake.
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Shy guys have the dual characteristics of being mysteriously alluring and yet hard to get a hold of. Their shyness comes off as sweet, comforting, and endearing, making them a nice break from the machismo that appears in too many of the world’s men today. As charming as this reserved nature can be it also has the unfortunate side effect of potentially crippling any attempts at dating. Quite often a shy girl and guy would work beautifully together in a relationship, but the problem lies in neither one of them being forward enough to act on their feelings. Sometimes a person simply has to buckle down and bite the bullet in order to get what they want. Here are some tips to help you figure out how to date a shy guy.

For a lady who has her eye on a shy guy, whether she possesses this same quality or not, remaining low key is essential. Becoming his friend first is the best way to approach dating a timid fellow because it allows him to get to know a girl in the more comfortable and pressure free environment of friendship, increasing the chances that he will open up. Patience is necessary when courting a shy guy because it will take time for him to trust a girl and feel relaxed enough in her presence to reveal his true self. A lot of patience is needed for a girl who has a more social personality since her tight lipped man will most likely not be knocking people over with his witty banter and charm at parties. Have patience as you learn how to date a shy guy.

Dating a shy guy is kind of like dancing the tango, it is a series of delicate steps and subtle, tricky movements, but the end product is worth every little effort. Instead of being frustrated by his inability to work a room filled with friends and family, a woman should see her quiet man as her own secret treasure, a gift that only a few special people get to see. Having a reserved guy open up is like watching a beautiful flower bloom, it may take a while and others might lose interest, but for those who stick it out, the beauty and unique nature of the flower is reward enough. A person just needs a little perseverance in order to experience the beauty for themselves.

For women who do not share the same characteristic shyness as their mate it is important to bear in mind how their behavior affects him. While not changing who they are, the more socially apt woman just needs to remember that her guy would most likely prefer to be left in the background and when they are at social events it would probably be better to simply let him exist in his sphere of comfort. Though seemingly opposites, a shy man and a somewhat extroverted woman could make a wonderful pairing with each pulling the other in a new personal direction, showing them a side to life never before seen or considered. Learning how to date a shy guy might take a little extra work and patience, but their potential makes it all the more worthwhile.

Let me say at the start if you enjoy kissing whole heartedly with a lot of passion and feeling most of the hard work is done for you. All that’s left is learning some easy to follow instructions on how to French kiss that will your love interest thinking you’re the best kisser they’ve ever had.

Simple instructions on how to French kiss involve some little but very enjoyable fundamentals: experimentation, imagination, kindness, preparation, respect, communication, and very importantly confidence.

It’s also absolutely critical before you even think about kissing anyone that you do not have bad breath, you don’t have a rough beard, you don’t have body odour and that you’re not about to pounce on her like an octopus.

One instruction on how to French kiss involves being able to hold your breath so that you can enjoy a long and leisurely French kiss. Obviously if you don’t breath you will become light headed and also produce too much saliva and no-one wants that to happen.

The secret to being able to hold your breath involves your ribs. If you take a deep breath to begin with and let your ribs expand this will give you some breath that you can keep as reserve. If you take too deep a breath you will become stiff and wooden.

Another instruction on how to French kiss involves the position of your body. Make sure that your whole body is in a comfortable position so that you are flexible and can move parts of your body without having to interrupt the kiss. It’s also important that your partner is in a comfortable position also.

If you are wondering if your noses are going to crash into one another, researched instructions on how to French kiss show that people are more naturally to tilt their head to the right when kissing.

It’s also important that if you are the one who initiated the kiss that you are the one to end it and to not have it last too long.

In order to learn how to kiss good you need to follow simple instructions on how to French kiss. If you have never kissed anyone before or have had little practice you know you get just one chance. This is why it’s so important to follow the correct instructions on how to French kiss.

Kissing is a lot like dancing. Just like dancing, you should follow your partner’s lead. You should be aware of how comfortable your partner is kissing you. Once you start to kiss one of you will slip your tongue into the other person’s mouth. Whatever you do, don’t make your tongue disappear back into your mouth like a startled turtle; and don’t let your tongue just sit there either. Move it around their tongue, gently suck on their tongue, chase one another’s tongues around their mouths.

It’s important when you start to learn how to kiss good that you identify all the embarrassing things to avoid! Don’t let your next kiss become an experience that haunts you for the rest of your life. Take the little time needed to get proper instructions on how to French kiss that will have you being the best kisser they’ve ever had. I guarantee that if you follow the right instructions on how to French kiss you will have the partner of your dreams and becoming the best kisser they’ve ever had.

I went home to a family reunion in December. Normally stories of this nature conjure images of either loving parents, aunts, uncles, and siblings, laughing and loving, or the opposite image of squabbling relatives, all wondering why they had traveled such great distances only to spend the holidays in abject misery.

Not so in my case. This was not a typical family reunion, but it was indeed a reunion of a loving family. It is the family of girlfriends! A sisterhood! Although not true sisters in the flesh, my girlfriends and I couldn’t have been any closer had we come out of the same womb.

We spent the night in a beautiful home, festively decorated, with tree lights twinkling, listening to Christmas carols on CDs, consuming wonderful food, imbibing our favorite drinks, exchanging gifts, and talking rapid-fire, relating what has happened to us since last we were all together, and taking group photos to be gazed upon lovingly in the coming years. Here we were, eight women with one voice, one heart, one mind. We are all each other.

Some of us have been friends since kindergarten. Some came along later. But all of us have remained loyal and steadfast, and we share a deep and abiding love and respect for one another.

Every year at Christmas we gather together at one or the other’s house to celebrate our enduring friendship and to give thanks for all that we’ve shared over the years, although most of these gatherings have fallen to just one of us, but she is the Hostess with the Mostess, so we naturally gravitate to her home.

This past Christmas was the 50th such reunion for The Girls as we always refer to ourselves. In our minds, we are still The Girls, no matter how many wrinkles or sagging jawlines, or droopy eyelids appear to try to disabuse us of that notion.

Of course we’re still The Girls. We’re just The Mature Girls now. Mature to all outward appearances, but still The Girls on the inside, in our minds and hearts where it really matters.

Having moved away from home many years ago, I have missed attending a lot of these reunions. But my sisters always made sure that I was a part of the festivities, calling me from the party and passing the phone from one to another so that I may share in the joy and happiness that we have experienced every Christmas for these past 50 Christmases.

The Girls know my secrets and I know theirs. Although all of us married, some to wonderful husbands, others to not so wonderful husbands, we always had each other with which to share our most intimate thoughts and fears.

We’ve experienced Life in all its glory and all its misery. We’ve raised families, suffered through divorces and even death. We’ve watched our children marry and have children of their own, and no matter how joyous the occasion or how profoundly sad, we have always been there for each other, congratulating each other on those most auspicious occasions or buttressing each other up during the sad ones.

Two of us have suffered the ultimate loss; the death of our child. It’s been 10 years since this first profound loss of a child and this Christmas, 2007, will be the 5th anniversary of the death of my beloved youngest son. We know joy, but we also know great heartbreak.

We’ve each felt a personal loss when one of our parents died, for we all knew each others’ parents and loved them as our own. We offered our support and understanding as each one of us became the parent of our parents.

During our growing up years, we were loved and nurtured by our parents. We each had a mother and father living in the same home. No divorces among the group’s parents. How fortunate we were to have that, and how fortunate we were to be cradled and coddled.

Then one day we found ourselves on the other side of the bank, across the river of life. We went from being taken care of, to being the caretakers, caring not only for our children but also for our aging parents. The caretaking years are rapidly coming to an end now, with the passing of a parent it seems with each passing year, and the maturing of our own children who no longer need us as they once did.

Only two of us now have parents who are living and one of the parents, although technically alive, cannot really be called living. This parent is in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s, robbing him of the joy of his daughter, grandchildren and great grandchildren. He lives in a twilight world now where only he knows what goes on in his once great mind. Of the other two remaining parents, one also suffers from Alzheimer’s but has many moments of lucidity, while his wife is still active and alert and as bright as ever.

Not so for the rest of our parents who have sadly slipped away over the years, my wonderful dad being the most recent one to leave us, September, 2007, two weeks shy of his 88th birthday.

My sisters and I have shared many joys and times of incredible happiness throughout the years. We’ve been there for each other, patting each other on the back for our accomplishments and opening our hearts and our arms wide for a comforting hug during the times of loss.

No matter where we may all live, scattered throughout the country, we are always there for each other. Our door is always open, sometimes decorated with a big Christmas wreath, but always, always open for us to enter and reminisce and share the joy of over 50 Christmases past and close to 55 years of remarkable friendship, with the hope of many, many more years to come.

All of us are blessed to love and to be loved, Cheers!

TO LOVE is to show by examples of loving all mankind through sharing and caring.

TO BE LOVED is to expect readers to understand the message of ‘to love and to be loved’ and learn from it and apply them to yourself, your family and to all other humans beings. Why?

The message here is clear and dear. Love is a great topic where no one is not touched. But perhaps to many people, love is restricted to only just that special one or just within the family or his circles of friends. It is not wrong too. Isn’t this love only for someone or our parents or those whom we are related? “Ask me to love others? Impossible, they don’t love me, why should I love them?” I want to mind my own business, I am too busy with my ‘loved ones’.

But if one can just accept the fact that we are brothers and sisters living in the same planet, Earth, try to expand this most powerful emotion, LOVE for all. What I am talking now is about divine love, a genuine love which is called an UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Our Lord even loves the sinners, it is true! Loving sinners and everyone of us. Aren’t we also sinners? If God discriminate people in groups of saints and sinners, which category will we be then? Where can God place us then?
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Let’s look at the types of loves that people always eye differently. When we talk about love, many minds would be reminded of the physical act of love between males and females. Oh! that is just maybe 5% of what love might represent. What about the other 95% Love? A white blank sheet of paper dotted with a small black spot; and the rest of the paper left untouched! What can we see on this piece of paper? The answers of most people will be seeing the black dot, not the 95% of the paper which is white!

Well, it is just natural…. nothing to be alarmed… Most of us have been trained to see the black spot, not the big white space that surrounds the black spot. Most people are not trained to see the white space in the paper. Most people looks at things negatively.

There are many different types of love, I have collectively written them down for all to have a glance…. maybe you can add in some more…these are just some of these love.

[1] Divine or Genuine love

This is divine love that radiates from the highest level of love that mankind knows and needs. It is from a divine source. It is an unconditional love for all mankind, his creations. The cup of love will be so full that it will overflow and the more you give, the more the cup will be filled up….

This is the universal language that unites. This is the grandest love of all, unfading and eternal, it has been in existence beyond any creation in space or cosmos, before time or after time……this love will create and bear the fruits of peace and happiness and encourages spiritual wealth and health that will exists forever….

Because of this love, we are ‘lighted’ with this powerful source of emotion, this is the ‘bridge’ to peace, joy and faith. Love knows no barrier, love knows no hate, love knows no lies…. Love is flawless.

Many problems arises among us because we have forgotten to place Divine Love as priority. Divine Love when placed first among other loves will solve countless problems on entanglements.

[2] Parental love

Whoever you are or whatever status you are now, we are all born of a woman, the most respectful woman whom we call our mother. And raised in a family where there is this male-head, we call the father. We cannot deny this fact, we are not cloned or mass produced by any material source. We are born human and we have human parents. Respect and love is demanded and expected of us. No other love can exceed this human love from our parents. gee…. our parents call us babies no matter how old we are…. rite? In our parents eyes, we are and will be always babies for them even when one climbs up the family tree to become a grandfather! It is as commanded, love our parents.

There have been countless stories of unconditional love shared on parental love, telling us on how great and valuable this parental love is. You might not understand yet, but when you become a parent, you will taste it too. So, take some time to be with our parents, call them, serve them, obey them, heed them, love them….at least to see them comforted and provided for till one day they be rested. By then, don’t regret that you have loved less, cared less and cry over those things you have never done!

[3] Siblings’ love

We talk about brotherhood or sisterhood…. actually there is no such word, but to evoke in all a better memory of brotherly or sisterly relationships. Blood is thicker than water, know what I mean? Brothers and sisters are all born of the same womb of your mother. Remember these? That we grew up together, we played together, bathed together, laughed together and fought each other…. We spent many years together….

Love between siblings are wonderful bonds that are shared only among brothers and sisters. Reflect on what is genuine and expand it… There are touching real stories where the strength of brotherly or sisterly love are tested. As brothers and sisters, we love and trust each other at the same time gain mutual understanding and partnership.

to be continued…

The abundance of single moms in our country means there are a lot of our exes out there, and they eventually end up in a new relationship. To this new woman you are the ex and who knows your ex better than you do, right?

It made me wonder what I’m really getting into when I date a single dad. He has an ex that either he left or left him. He’s been through a breakup/divorce, pays child support, etc. and has to maintain some kind of relationship with the mother of his kids. What is that like and what does it say about him? It’s worth more consideration than I think most of us give it, myself included.

As we know there are always two sides to every story and you’ve probably heard your new man’s, but what about his ex’s? If you know your ex better than anyone, wouldn’t that also mean that his ex knows him better than you? What do you think your ex tells the new woman in his life? You know we can’t all be Bitter Bitches!

If you’re dating or in a relationship with a single dad, or any man that has an ex (and we hope he does have some experience) then of course we want to take him for his word about his past and be supportive. However, as an ex and single mom ourselves, we do have some insight into his exes world – and she into ours.

It is highly possible your new man made mistakes in his past relationships, but I’d want to know if; 1) he can take responsibility for them instead of blaming others, 2) has he learned from his experiences, and 3) he is willing to make changes to avoid making the same mistakes in his past.

I prefer to think of his ex as an ally rather than an enemy. She’s in the sisterhood of single moms and exes and if she’s already been there and done that with my new man, we may have a lot in common.

It’s too bad so many women try to sabotage rather than support each other. If your man casts a negative light on his ex, try pointing out her side as you can relate to it with your own experiences with your ex. It would certainly be more productive than just taking his word and forming opinions based on only one side of the story. If we can help him find compassion for his ex by what we bring into the relationship as exes ourselves, then we’d all be better off. Pay it forward!