It’s All About Process

13. January 2011 · Write a comment · Categories: Home And Family · Tags: , ,


The northeast corridor got clobbered by heavy snow and ice this week, leaving many parts of the New York City metropolitan area without power for several days. Our tiny town was no exception; most of Ridgefield was without electricity all day Wednesday. Extended empathy for victims of Katrina and last year’s Asian tsunami immediately bubbled to the forefront of my thoughts. And everyone in our family reflected with some sadness at the extent to which we rely on electricity and running water. No water, no coffee, no phone, no internet.

There went my plans for the day. Enjoying a morning shower (something I take for granted after a tough workout) was like hanging my hat upon a star, as was working on my web site (I’m in the middle of an internet remodeling project), returning phone calls and catching up on laundry. Visions of escaping to the nearest town for both a mall and a movie theater experience was looking better and better, until I re-examined my schedule and realized that there were certain responsibilities that I needed to keep, if in any way possible. Conference call (hmmm…could be done by cell phone I suppose, even though I’d have to at least idle my car in order to charge my phone battery and aren’t gas prices at an all-time high?); violin lessons (no excuse there as the music school did indeed have power); bill-paying (turns out you can do that by candlelight if you have to). And, like it or not, even the reds can get separated from the whites on the laundry room floor in the light of day.

So we grunted it out, the kids and I. While hubby was in sunny Florida for a three-day retreat (fate has had him out of town during most of our power outages), we made do as best we could in the absence of all imaginable resources and well as my knight in shining armor.

We were sailing along swimmingly (it’s quite amazing what a large hot cup of joe can do for downtrodden spirits, even if one has to drive across two town lines to get it) when just before I turned onto the main street leading to the music school, a tire on my van went completely flat. Nada. Down to the metal of the rim. It would only figure. Ernie out-of-town. Perfect time to be a sweated-stinky-bad-haired-cold-hungry-damsel-in-distress. Happens every time.

Having just finished my conference call, I was, mentally at least, still absorbed in its message: it’s all about process. The lesson was being applied to the business of professional writing and speaking, but now, with two tired and thirsty kids in the back seat and me with a completely immovable lop-sided van in a town other than my own, I kept reminding myself: “It’s aIl about process, Carolina. Take a deep breath and move through the process.”

Like becoming a writer or lecturer of stature, becoming a seasoned mother is all about process. As a writer with a single published article does not an expert make, nor does a mother with a single newborn babe. It takes years and years of trial and error, mistakes and victories, rejection and acceptance to finally “make it.”

It’s a process.

I recalled rather quickly one of my first flat-tire experiences. Even though I do not remember it as occurring on a day in which we also lost power (a rather strange mixture of circumstances indeed), it was nonetheless distressing. Waiting for rescue with small-children-strapped-helplessly-to-car-seats in tow, eventual repair was not comfortable even ten years ago. And I was nothing short of a bumbling flat-tire novice (or idiot, depending on whom you talk to.) Didn’t know the first thing about how to deal with the task at hand. Call AAA or call hubby? Get out of the car or stay put? Get someone to put on the spare of get towed to the nearest tire store? Laugh about it or burst into tears?

But having lived through a number of flat tires…and power outages, coffee withdrawals and bad hair days….I endured the process much better this time around (even though the no-power no-food no-coffee combination thing was not especially enjoyable nor entertaining). But I understood (kind of anyway) what to do. Call AAA from my cell phone (which I charged on my car’s battery while driving the thirty miles to violin lessons); let the kids walk the three blocks to their lessons (despite my fear of foul play along the way); phone hubby for sympathy (enduring him telling me that my plan was wrong and that I should opt for Plan B); and take a cat nap while enduring the wait (versus the whole bursting into tears routine.) And after the spare is put on, celebrate by driving to the nearest mall-with-a-Sears-auto-shop-attached for a new tire, dinner and quick shopping experience.

The process took more than five hours to complete. And it’s not that it was funner than it’s been in times past. I was still thirstier than usual, I still had leftover sweat clinging to my un-showered body, and I was still suffering from an excruciatingly bad hair day. It’s just that I’ve come further in the process. I’ve endured more emergencies. Faced bigger challenges. Fought bigger battles.

The process of motherhood is not about immediate results. Quick fixes. Flash-in-the-pan success. Motherhood requires embracing the challenges that come our way on a near-daily basis. Embracing difficulty. And pain. Suffering. And growing in the process. The act of going through the process has its own lessons. And its own rewards.

Growing up is not especially easy. (Look at any pre-pubescent boy if you need further evidence.) It involves introspection. Hard knocks. Falling flat on your face. But the process is inevitable, and you won’t be the kind of mom you want to become unless you go through it.

Embrace the process. However painful, endure the growing pains. While they keep coming years after you think they should well be over, embrace your role through them. No one ever told you it would be easy. No one ever told you it would take this long. But it’s not about easily measurable—or easily attainable— results. It’s mostly all about the process.
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Maternity Clothes For Fall

06. January 2011 · Write a comment · Categories: Home And Family · Tags: , ,




As the weather gets cooler and your lightweight summer maternity clothes are no longer warm enough for chilly mornings and evening, you know it is time to go shopping. If this is your first pregnancy, chances are there is nothing in your closet you can wear as pre-pregnancy clothes stop fitting by the 2nd trimester, if not sooner. Instead of panicking or spending a bundle all at once at your closest maternity store, take your time and just fill in the main necessities as you need them. Here are a few suggestions for stocking up your Fall maternity wardrobe.

Layering:
As the weather gets colder remember the best way to stay comfortable is to layer. Pregnant women tend to feel warmer due to a slightly higher internal temperature, added pounds, increased blood supply and general feeling of a oven heating up inside. For this reason it’s good to invest in easy to layer clothing items like fitted henleys and tanks that can be worn under sweaters and jackets. Ribbed cotton crew necks and turtle necks for colder weather are perfect for daytime wear. Maternal America makes some great basics for tees, tanks, and turtlenecks in soft stretchy ribbed cotton. 1 in the Oven also has some wonderful waffle weave cotton henleys in ¾ sleeves for both maternity and nursing.

Stretch Pants and Leggings:
As your belly grows you are more and more likely to seek comfort over style when it comes to jeans and pants. Fortunately you don’t have to sacrifice either when you invest in some comfy yoga pants and stylish leggings. There are so many leggings on the market today; you can find ankle length leggings in just about any color from all main maternity brands, cropped maternity leggings, leggings with side ruching and even lace detail on the trim. Leggings of all types and styles make the perfect compliment to a long maternity top, maternity tunic or casual dress or skirt. Yoga pants and stretch pants are also great for loungewear, activewear or even dressed up with a nice top. Dark colors such as black, charcoal and chocolate match easily with tops in your wardrobe through the fall and winter months.

Transition Wear:
The best way to stretch your dollar when shopping for maternity clothes, is to invest in items that can be worn during and after your pregnancy. Test the fabric and look for ribbed cotton or blends with lycra and spandex in the fabric which offer extra stretch and resilience. Nursing camis and tanks that are cut extra long and that are stretchy can also double as maternity tops and are great for layering in colder weather for both before and after your pregnancy. Styles with ruching at the sides and bust are particularly good at expanding where needed without looking frumpy. Also, styles that offer nursing access can be worn after you have the baby. Even maternity bottoms that fit under the belly or that have fold over bands are easy to wear after the baby.

Lingerie:
Every woman who is expecting soon finds their bra size is the first to change, sometimes even before they are ready for maternity clothes early in the first trimester. Usually bust size will continue to increase throughout pregnancy and then when starting to nurse as well. Instead to buying maternity bra after bra, go ahead and invest in a nursing bra that can be worn after you have the baby as well. Even if the bra you are buying early in your pregnancy is too small for nursing initially, chances are you will fit into it at some point on the way down to your pre-pregnancy size as you begin to wean your baby. Also many nursing bras are made with extra stretch and adjustments to fit several cup and band sizes which will save you money for both before and after your pregnancy.

Maternity underwear also is made with extra stretch and thicker more durable fabric. Briefs that fit under the belly can be worn after the baby postpartum. Some maternity underwear can be worn over the belly or folded over and worn under the belly such as the Bravado Original Brief. Either way stretchy waistbands are key to maximizing your wear and being able to wear during and after your pregnancy.

Remember when you are shopping for maternity clothes, the size you are today will not be the size you are tomorrow. We usually shop thinking we will stay the same size or even lose a pound or two. The reality is that you will get bigger when you are pregnant, so plan ahead to expanding bust and bellies and look for styles with maximum stretch and versatility.

Eco-Friendly Entertaining – A Guide to Greener Parties, Part I

24. November 2010 · Write a comment · Categories: Home And Family · Tags: , ,




When entertaining, disposable dishes are hands down the number one creator of trash. Avoid using them, and you’ll cut your resulting landfill-bound waste by almost 100%!  Plastics #3, 6, and 7, of which most disposable dishware is made, are the most toxic plastics ever invented, and sadly, the most pervasive. Most of us, myself included until fairly recently, when faced with a crowd of people to feed, stroll blithely down the disposable aisle, grabbing a giant pack of sturdy Styrofoam plates, colorful plastic cups, and several boxes of forks, spoons, and knives. During the party, Uncle Joe throws his plate away, only to later decide he wants seconds, or dessert. Cousins Jane and John can’t remember whose cup was whose, so they throw away both and get another. As the party winds down, maybe you have one giant garbage can for all of the waste, or maybe several bags. Now imagine all the picnics and cookouts thrown around the world over the summer, and picture all those garbage cans and bags… the enormous volume of wasted landfill space. These plastics and styrenes never biodegrade. Ever. Worse yet, there is an accumulating body of evidence to suggest that the toxins from these plastics actually leech into the foods they contain!

Here are two solutions. 
 
#1. If you’re not having an outdoor party, and your guests are mostly adults, go ahead and pull out that china that is forever gathering dust in your basement / attic / china cabinet! It’s not there for looking at, it’s there for being USED! Otherwise, why even have them? Sell them! Get some money! Use that storage space for something that you really need to own! You will be amazed at how enjoyable it is to actually see your food served on these beautiful pieces, and they make guests feel very honored. Yes, there may be some hand-washing involved afterwards, but believe me, the joy you’ll get from the use will far outweigh the chore. Trust me, Grandma Edna would WANT you to use it! From an eco-standpoint, this really is the ideal solution.
Don’t have “fine” china? I’m about to share one of my very favorite dirty little secrets with you. My “china” is solid white, with fine gold bands around the outside and inner rim of the dishes. I have large wine goblets and tall champagne flutes that are a heavy-weight glass (which feels like crystal) with a thick gold band around the rim. They were ALL end of season close-outs at an uber department store whose name rhymes with “smallbart.” The “china” came in boxes of 4 place settings each, for $11 a box. The goblets and flutes were $1 each. Seriously. Every single time I use them, my guests are guaranteed to make a comment about how incredible the table looks, and how gorgeous my china is, and “Oh, did you get that for your wedding?” Yep, sure did. *wink* It doesn’t have to be expensive to be beautiful. No one yet has tested to see whether the gold rims were 24 karat or metallic paint! Best of all, if something gets broken (and nothing has yet!), it’s hardly a catastrophe.

#2. If you throw a lot of wild parties and outdoor extravaganzas where porcelain / china is just not practical, there is another answer. While it does involve using plastic, it’s responsible usage, which is what we ideally need to get to for all plastics.   You can go to any department, drug, or grocery store and find those sets of hard plastic, melamine-style dishes. They come in all shapes, colors, and patterns, and generally have coordinating cutlery and serving dishes! For a cost of around $2 an item, you can put together a full complement of non-disposable plastics, most of which are even dish-washable. If you are not entertaining at home, bring a large extra cooler, and fill it about half way with water. Have guests scrape their plates into the trash, then put the dishes in the water to soak. When you’re closing up shop, give them a quick swish in the water to dislodge the remaining food, pack the dishes in a box or bag, and dump the dirty water. When you get home, run the dishes through the dishwasher, and you’re ready for the next round. An added bonus to the heavy plastic pieces is that because of their weight, they are much less prone to fly around when the wind blows than their paper and Styrofoam counterparts.
 
A note on style: I will say that when purchasing dishes, whether porcelain or plastic, I am a huge advocate of white. It can be used on every occasion, looks completely fabulous, and really shows off the food. If you go with white, you will only need the one set for all your events, and it’s much easier to replace if any pieces get broken or lost.

Spring is in the Air!

21. June 2010 · Write a comment · Categories: Home And Family · Tags: , ,


“Spring in the world! And all things are made
new!” Richard Hovey

Finally. Spring is here!

Ahhh! Spring is in the air!

While it certainly hasn’t left much evidence here in New
England-no crocuses popping up, no morning birds waking me up, no T’s and capri’s showing up-there are sure signs that Spring has, indeed, arrived. The snow has melted. New life is on its way!

Spring celebrates, like no other season, all nature “rising
again.” It is the ultimate symbol of resurrection from death.
Many of the traditional symbols that we accept as mere
association to Spring have roots in the natural cycle of the
earth, and as such it is helpful to appreciate their significance when we celebrate Easter.

Baby bunnies, chicks, and birds all symbolize newly born
creatures and remind us of the new birth in Christ. The pastel
colors of lavender, pink, yellow, and blue are traditional
colors of springtime, but they also shout forth that “life
springs eternal.” Eggs are the quintessential symbol of new
life: new life hides under a shell until it literally bursts
onto the earth. In the Jewish tradition, eggs also symbolize a
free-will offering, or of giving more than is demanded. And
even the tradition of a new “Easter outfit” symbolizes the
putting away of winter and the bringing forth of freshness and
vitality. As Christ burst forth from the tomb, we too become
“clothed” in newness.

If you finished spring cleaning your home, you should be ready to bring Spring’s freshness and vitality into your home as you decorate for the season.

Bring Nature Inside

Celebrate Spring’s glory with fresh flowers.

Gather all your beautiful containers and load them with tulips, hyacinths, crocuses, and daffodils. Set them out all around your home. Put some in the living room, others in the kitchen, more in the front hallway, the children’s bedrooms.and don’t forget the powder room or most-used bathroom. They add an exuberant splash of color and an intoxicating aroma to your everyday world.

Treat yourself to a new wreath or a basket of flowers or your
front door.

The minute I put mine out, my whole house takes on a
different look. Visit your local florist, or check out new
arrivals from Williams-Sonoma (www.williams-sonoma.com) or Smith
& Hawken (www.smithandhawken.com. Gorgeous wreaths and posies can be found for less than $50. Their freeze-dried flowers used on wreaths not only look fabulous; they will last for years even
under the harshest of elements. And how about an ivy laced bunny
topiary? Or pink hydrangeas in a watering can by your side door?
Arrange them yourself, or buy online for wonderful splashes of
Spring color and whimsy.

Plant flower boxes at your front windows.

Have fun experimenting with different combinations of flowers and colors that not only bring you a visual kick, but with varieties that can withstand the heat and sunlight that hits your front yard.

Decorate an Easter tree.

This year, I used pussy willows, whose buds make perfect nooks from which to hang miniature “ornaments.” A dozen stems look fabulous in a tall, sleek glass vase. Typically, the kids and I go on a nature walk to find the perfect branch. We put into a pretty blue-and-white china container, cover it up with dirt, and sprinkle in a few rye seeds to grow real grass. Either way, it looks fresh and delightful decorated sparsely with tiny ornaments and with teensy yellow fuzzy chicks and baskets hung on the delicate branches. Surrounded by our family of Easter bunnies, each one named after a family member, the arrangement makes me smile every time I walk past it.

Dye eggs with your kids.

Children of all ages love dyeing eggs. Whether you buy the dyeing kits from your drug store or you use imaginative painting techniques of your own, be sure to add this
to your “must-do’s” during the Easter season. Plant grass seeds
in your loveliest container and let the kids water every couple
of days. You should have grass tall enough to hold your dyed
eggs by Easter. If that puts you into a panic, go to your local
health food store and buy wheatgrass. It will look fabulous in
your container. Or place some wheatgrass inside beautiful china
teacups and, along with a few sprigs of fresh, delicate flowers,
you will have gorgeous place settings for your Easter brunch.
Add a tiny white chocolate bunny as a favor for your guests to
take home.

Start planning a neighborhood Easter egg hunt now.

Make up colorful invitations and let your children hand-deliver them to all of your neighbors and friends. Plan a simple brunch menu with plenty of coffee, tea, and OJ. Let your kids start stuffing plastic eggs now, so that by the time your hunt rolls around, you’re all set.

I’m Dreaming of a Green Christmas

09. April 2010 · Write a comment · Categories: Home And Family · Tags: , ,


It’s exactly one week until Christmas, and I am not ready. My heart is prepared. Hands are not. There are still gifts to purchase, wrap and ship. Pies to bake and deliver. Cookies to package for the neighbors.

My kitchen table is serving triple duty as a storage facility, wrapping island and veritable nerve center for the preparations still un-done. Tissue paper and ribbons and tape and scissors and markers and boxes stand ready to be put into service. But long days at the office and after-work board meetings and parenting responsibilities keep me from moving at the pace to which I had, for years, become accustomed.

These last three years have practically forced me to adopt a simpler approach to the Holidays. I have weeded out the frivolous from the essentials; trimmed my gift list; abandoned some earlier-treasured rituals; and adopted a “green” approach to help me accomplish all of the above while simultaneously helping preserve our planet.

First of all, if you are not keeping long lists each Christmas of what you purchased and for whom, and what you received and from whom, start doing this now. My own lists go back almost twenty years and have “green-ed” me up by saving our family’s three most precious resources: time, energy and money. Not having to re-invent the wheel every year saves one tons of pre-Christmas anxiety, too. I group families together as I do friends and business colleagues. If you are visually sensitive as I am, you will start “seeing” your Christmas list in your head, and every time you are out and about, you can start thinking of what you should buy for those you most love all year long. That said:

• Hand craft, bake or cook as many gifts as possible. They’ll be more appreciated by the recipient, save you money and prevent yet more stuff from accumulating in areas where that’s the last thing needed. Stick to your favorites and make them again and again. I make my favorite Kentucky pecan pie every Christmas for a half-dozen folks on my list and pick up stoneware pie plates whenever and wherever I can find them throughout the year.

• Buy antiques and gently-used stuff. It moves recycling one step further, the gifts will inevitably be more unique than those bought from department stores or catalogs, and the recipient will value the time you spent shopping for something extra-special for him or her. I picked up some gorgeous antique jewelry on my last trip into New York for a few people on my list; I know I’ll never see such wonderful stuff again. One of my best friends got something from a local antique store when I found them early this year. Know what your friends collect and keep your eyes open for it throughout the year. (Roosters anyone?)

• Make your lists concise and build around themes. You’ll be able to conserve shopping trips, visiting only a few stores rather then a dozen or more. We all need to do our part in conserving gas, and this one will add a few good measures to that end. I stock up at Trader Joe’s on all sorts of organic soups, chocolates, teas and coffees and give out healthier goodie bags than what I could purchase elsewhere, all at decent prices.

• Don’t go nuts on wrapping. Use brown paper bags and boxes wherever possible. If you get a box filled with Styrofoam peanuts, re-use it on another gift rather than dumping it; this stuff will last for years. Consider plain newspaper or popcorn for fillers instead. Go simple on gift tags and ribbons, too. Recycle old favorites and come up with your own style that is timeless yet festive. For years, I used manila hang tags tied to old-fashioned twine; now I use white round metal-lined mailing tags which already come with a ring, easily slipped through a silk ribbon and large enough to write a tiny inscription.

• Consider re-stringing your tree with LED lights. More expensive in the short run, they’ll outlast the old ones in the long run. And of course, they’re better for Mother Earth.

• The true “greenies” will tell you to buy a real tree, or better yet, to dig one up and re-plant it after Christmas has passed. We have allergies to the real thing, so we have an artificial tree. Nothing wrong with that either as it’s used again and again and again.

• Go through all of those paper shopping bags you have laying around (I did that this weekend and was aghast at how many we’d collected; I spent a good half-hour sorting and re-folding). I was also pleasantly surprised at how many of them could be used a second or even third time as most bags these days are quite beautiful. If you keep this kind of stuff, make sure they’re handy and in good shape so that you can do your part in recycling them for further good.

• Use recycled paper for your annual Christmas letter, if you still send one. Recycled cards, too. Our family’s list gets longer each year, and we’re happy about having an ever-expanding circle. I shop for cards the day after Christmas in order to buy them at half-price for the next year. Again, it’s all about planning.

• Lastly, consider throwing one big party where you allow Holiday cheer to pervade your home, family and friends. Spreading joy to those in your circles in this way allows you to touch dozens of folks at one time and keeps efficiencies of time, energy and money at bay. Splurge for one morning or one night knowing that you’ve filled lots of people with the Christmas spirit.

From my heart to yours, I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Carolina

Stress Relief For Stay at Home Moms

09. January 2010 · Write a comment · Categories: Home And Family · Tags: , ,




Once baby comes along, all you want to do is be there to hold the little one. The thought of missing even one second of the child’s precious moments makes most mothers dread leaving the house. Thus, many moms relinquish secular work outside the home to raise their children. Whether you decide to work from home as well, mothers who stay home have a greater stress load than most realize.

Staying home with children does not result in a life of leisure, as some assume. Running a household, managing daily child-related activities, and maintaining sanity are all balls in the air of a very delicate juggling act. If you include managing expenses and trying to start or run a business from home, each adds its own complex dynamic to the mix. The stress of it all begins to weigh heavy. Much is dependent on the stay at home mom and since the mother is home, she feels an even greater responsibility to be validated and prove that she is not merely sitting around watching soap operas all day.

The stress builds from both internal and external forces. Inside, moms may suffer from low self-esteem, exhaustion and perhaps feelings of inadequacy from no longer bringing income into the household. Externally, the lack of sleep, poor eating habits and lack of exercise increase the intensity of the pressure. Each situation is unique in many ways, but there are easy ways to relieve “stay at home mom” stress. Here are some proactive tips.

1. Get out of the house more! Sounds cliche, but no man is an island. Part of the stress mothers encounter comes from being fully immersed in motherhood, forgetting and neglecting womanhood and sisterhood. Friendship and socialization is specific to our nature and should never be ignored. Join or start a mom’s group. (Not just an online or virtual community, but one that meets in person.) Go to a park, the zoo, a mall or a library. Try to get out of the house with the children each day, weather permitting. Learning social skills early on is important for them too.

2. Don’t lose your previous identity. Just because you are a mother-even one that stays home-doesn’t mean that you aren’t you anymore! Children add things to your life: joy, laughter, diapers, tears, heartache, warmth, love and more. Yet you don’t have to stop being yourself entirely to commit to your new role. Perhaps there were a few bad habits you kicked before little Timmy came along, but that’s a positive improvement, not a total identity overhaul. If you used to participate in networking events, go out with girlfriends once or twice a month or play in a band, you don’t have to give those things up entirely. As long as your child is safely being cared for in your absence, feel free to explore your own interests, being careful to not lose your own essence. Since, eventually, you could end up resenting what should be the best time in your life-your being a mother and a well-rounded individual.

3. Seek balance in all areas of your life. Just because you are home doesn’t mean everything in your life has to be about the house, the kids and the hubby. Take time for you, for you and your mate, for you and your kids, for you and your mother, for you and your best friend, etc. See where I’m going with this? It’s okay to enjoy time with others outside the home AND within the home. As long as you seek to enjoy a variety of interests with a support network of close friends and family, you can’t go wrong. But by totally focusing on one aspect over another, both guilt and distress will ensue, making you a very unhappy mommy.

4. Stop neglecting your hair and make up! Stay home moms often let themselves go. Since they may not officially have to leave the house, they don’t change into outer wear, fix their hair or put on make up. (No offense to those that do, but you know who you are if this tip speaks to you.) Why is that? This type of neglect is actually counterproductive. Maybe for the first several days to a week after the new baby comes home, you can let the grooming go for a bit, but don’t give it up all together. Many moms begin to feel depressed and unattractive due to the added baby weight. Don’t make it worse. Spruce yourself up a bit each day; regardless if you have somewhere to go outside of the house or not. Think of each day as a new opportunity or adventure. Would you want to greet opportunity looking like you just rolled out of the bed? Didn’t think so. Take time in the morning for grooming. It really helps to relieve the stress that is tied to low self-esteem.

5. Get to know the stress in your life. Start journaling about circumstances, dates and times that seem to cause you the most stress. Look for patterns and then get help from a stress management professional. Together, you can review the patterns and put them into perspective to help create a plan to reduce or eliminate the extra stress in your life.

Staying home to raise your children during these critical early stages of life is a gift indeed. Don’t allow stress to rob you of the joy. Take action to get your stress under control and start truly enjoying this gift, as these moments are precious and rather fleeting.

Keep in Touch With Your Sister With Free E-Cards

07. January 2010 · Write a comment · Categories: Home And Family · Tags: , ,


Sisters are at long last recognized in America with Sister’s Day. To mark this special day millions of free e-mails are sent by sisters to sisters to help celebrate this great day. These free e-cards can also be personalized and so sisters can send a special message to each other. Though generally taken to mean a female relative descending from shared parents, the connotation of the word sister is a familial relationship between people that is often not based on being related.

Women that share a particular culture, language, behavior, geography, lifestyles, or experiences are referred to as sisters, especially when they unite for one of those reasons. For example, a female military expert might consider all other female soldiers to be her sisters in arms, or women experiencing pregnancy may feel the sisterly bond with others in that situation.

Whether the sisters you played with while growing up were literally that or really close playmates, the bond formed between people of approximately the same age within a larger family, neighborhood, or kin structure is irreplaceable. In spite of the potential rivalry, maintaining a connection with your sisters throughout adulthood is vital to the survival of the family dynamic. Celebrated annually on the first Sunday in August, Sisters’ Day commemorates the special relationship between genealogical sisters and celebrates the many other dimensions of sisterhood.

In keeping with the spirit of Sisters’ Day, the inclusion of step- and adopted sisters in the celebration is vital to keeping the changing face of the modern family up to date. Parents of siblings should use this holiday to encourage interaction, communication, and the basis for a supportive relationship between them from an early age.

If you and your sisters are separated by time, distance, and lifestyle, this is your chance to renew your connection with them. Reach out across the country, or around the world, and bring your sisterly network to life again through phone calls, scheduling reunions that are independent of times that your family or sisterhood already gets together, or establishing an electronic link.

Keep updated on your respective lives, because you never know what you might find out about each other, or yourself! In the event of no sister(s) with whom to share this meaningful occasion, seek out a group of women with whom you may foster a sisterly bond based on various aspects of your culture, personality, and much more. Sisterhood is about more than being sisters, namely, it is about being women and being there for each other.

According to a recent study, older women that have maintained a connection with their sister(s) are less likely to be depressed or feel a sense of abandonment that typically grows with age. In fact, all evidence gathered about positive relationships between sisters points to its value and significance, emotional and otherwise, for all parties involved. Incredibly, people of any age, even as young as a year old, actually cope better with the separation from their parents than that from their siblings.

There are now a great choice of free e-cards to send to sisters to recognize this event. When sending a free e-card to your sister you can send a humorous ecard or you can send one that you know that your sister can relate to. The great thing then is that your sister can then send you back another free e-card as soon as she has received hers. By sending free e-cards helps sisters around the world keep in touch.
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Christmas Trees – Real VS Fake – Which is "Greener?"

12. December 2009 · Write a comment · Categories: Home And Family · Tags: ,


As I was putting up my tree earlier this week, it suddenly occurred to me to wonder, in light of my expanding eco-consciousness, whether a real tree or fake tree was the greener alternative. I got to thinking about how the real trees are grown, harvested, and transported, but then again, what ARE fake trees made of? I decided to do some research, and discovered this to be a long-standing, heated debate! Running through the pros and cons in my head, I honestly expected them to come out about evenly in the end, but as it turned out, that wasn’t the case at all! Here’s the facts – do with them as you will:

Real trees – Pros

Biodegradable 1-3 new trees are planted for each one cut Generally planted in soil that will not support other crops 1 acre of a Christmas tree farm provides enough oxygen for 18 people, which works out to oxygen for about 9 million people from the roughly 500 million acres of tree farms Many communities offer curbside pickup for mulching Better option for those allergic to dust Obviously, contains no PVC

Real trees – Cons

Requires significant fuel for shipping, consumer shopping, and eventual waste disposal Frequently require pesticides, which can leech into water as they biodegrade (although there ARE varieties that require no pesticides) Can be a fire hazard – consumers are instructed to use no more than 3 strands of lights

Fake trees – Pros

Long life span – when well taken care of, a fake tree can last for decades Better for those allergic to the chemical that gives evergreens their scent

Fake trees – Cons

Petroleum required for manufacture Often made of PVC, which is one of the most toxic plastics ever created Often contain lead, which is used to stabilize the PVC Manufacture releases dioxins into the atmosphere during manufacture Generally manufactured in Asia, requiring huge amounts of fuel for shipping to Europe and U.S.

Huh. Well, from an environmental standpoint, the facts make it hard not to come down in favor of the real trees, but this does NOT mean that you should toss your fake tree and run out to buy a real one! The first rule of the eco-code is REDUCE, so the longer you keep that tree, the greener it gets. The second part of the code is, of course, REUSE, so when you no longer want your tree, please don’t throw it away to linger eternally in a landfill – donate it!

So you might be wondering, is there a greener option than the real tree? Actually yes, but it involves a twist on the tradition. Turns out that the greenest option (besides not having a tree) is to decorate a living tree. Evergreens will only last about a week indoors, so for those of you who like to keep your tree up from Thanksgiving until after New Year’s, you’ll need to pick a more suitable plant. Alternatively, consider simply decorating a tree in your yard, where the whole neighborhood can enjoy it!
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How to Determine the Sex of a Child

19. August 2009 · Write a comment · Categories: Home And Family · Tags: , ,


You men out there are the sole parties responsible for passing on the genetic codes to determine if a child is male or female. It is a simple fact of biology: the Xx combination of sperm and egg create a female; the Xy are male. All eggs are X. Sperm can be either X or Y. So don’t blame us for the child’s sex; it’s really up to you. Now I’m going to explain in very simplistic terms the ways you can actually turn the odds in favor of your choice of girls or boys.

Now remember – conception takes place in the fallopian tube with the first sperm to reach and penetrate the surface of the egg. Thus conception is the result of a race amongst millions of little swimming sperm to reach the single available egg. (A small percentage women ovulate on both sides simultaneously and have a higher propensity to create fraternal twins).
There are two kinds of sperm: the androsperm or male-genetic-code-carrying version and the genosperm or female. For simplicity let’s call the boys Andys and the girls Gennys. Determining the sex of your child has to do with taking advantage of the unique characteristics of each. Here are those we can easily manipulate:

Andys are smaller and swim faster. But like the hare versus the turtle, Andys don’t swim as far and don’t last very long. Consider them the sprinters.
The Gennys are larger and slower. They can last up to 36 hours in some vaginal environments. Call them the long-distance runners.

Men tend to increase the ratio of Andys to Gennys in the “load” when there has been an extended period of abstinence. This has been shown over the years where the first generation of children after men have been away at war have a higher portion of males than the long-term average. Also certain cultures who only engage in sexual intercourse once a month at the expected time of fertility have very high proportions of males (60+ percent),
Gennys favor more acidic environments. Andys like basic.

What to do? There are five things to remember:

Penetration – The closer the point at which the “load” (the ejaculate) is delivered to the egg the more likely a sprinter (an Andy) will win the race. So guys, to make boys, stick it all the way in when you reach climax.

T-iming If the load is delivered before the egg is available the Andys will die off and the Gennys will be there waiting. Ovulation usually takes place around the 14th day of the cycle (measured by as day one being the start of the menstrual period). Intercourse on the 12th or 13th day will favor Gennys because there will be no egg to fertilize for a day or two. To make boys, make an appointment on the 14th day. If you really want to be specific get a thermometer and wait until her temperature rises slightly.

Viscocity – Vaginal liquids are relatively thick and present an impediment to the Gennys. Andys swim right through these thick liquids. To make boys, make her real happy (several times) prior to delivering the load. Even you “jack-rabbit” 60-second climaxers can make boys if you properly prepare your woman’s love canal with some oral or other stimulation. So take your time. (If you must cheat use a little sterile lubricant like K-Y.)

Abstinence – If you do it every day you’ll probably make a girl as the “Andy/Genny” ratio in the ejaculate will decline. So save it up a little if you want a boy.

Acid/base – To make girls use the acid-containing douches (vinegar). For boys use baking soda.
If you follow these steps, a study from the mid-70′s determined that you will have an 85% chance of getting what you want.
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Creative Thinking in the Midst of the Mundane

01. August 2009 · Write a comment · Categories: Home And Family · Tags: , ,


Today’s Quote: “For a parent, it’s hard to recognize the significance of your work when you’re immersed in the mundane details. Few of us, as we run the bath water or spread the peanut butter on the bread, proclaim proudly, “I’m making my contribution to the future of the planet.” But with the exception of global hunger, few jobs in the world of paychecks and promotions compare in significance to the job of parent. Joyce Maynard

We cannot escape them. The mundane realities of motherhood
present themselves at every turn.

Upon rising, it’s blast off! We’re faced with cooking and serving breakfast, washing resultant dirty dishes, wiping countertops, sweeping floors, packing lunchboxes, checking and signing school papers, and initialing bus passes or driving carpool.

Barely over, laundry stains rear their ugly heads and our next
campaign of the hour screams for our attention. Once attacked,
three loads of laundry morph before our eyes to four, stray socks and underwear mysteriously jump to the stairs instead of the hamper…and more washing, more drying, and more folding goes on ad infinitum.

Grueling grocery-store queues, bewildering bills, and time-
consuming phone tag continue to fill our mornings.

And all before 9 AM!

Get used to it. The mundane–oftentimes dreadful–realities of
motherhood have been with moms since time began, and likely will
stay with us for, well, the rest of our lives. There’s no sense
despairing, no need to wring your hands, no time for wishing
them away.

But take heart. There are tricks to conquering the mundane to
keep you from going completely insane.

First of all, use your time when doing mundane, everyday chores
to think creatively. Mindless, repetitious motions like ironing,
soaping down dirty dishes, folding t-shirts…things we could do
with our eyes closed in the middle of a tornado, present perfect
opportunities for us to think of creative solutions to present
day dilemmas. My hunch is that not many of you take the time out
during the day to just sit in a chair and think; indeed, the idea–credited by Nobel Prize-winning physicist Luis Alvarez, who took a half-hour every day to ponder what he knew and what its implications might be–is highly impractical for ROCKET MOMS! Nevertheless, the idea is pure gold. (1) How can you translate it into your everyday reality? Use that time, when you are performing repetitious tasks, to ponder dilemmas, think through frustrations, sort out ill-feelings, and organize your day.

Secondly, use an “Open Road Strategy” to think creatively. Drive
times with sleeping children-buckled securely in car seats and
nodding off happily to Raffi tunes and Mozart for the Mind-are
great opportunities to think without distractions. This practice
is endorsed by John Rogers of the University of Illinois, who is
developing microfluidic optical fibers, and needs this time to
think creatively. (2) Don Arnone, a leader in t-ray technology, also employs this strategy, calling it “an inadvertent bonus of the realities of modern life.” (3)

Lastly, use times doing repetitious exercise as your “Physically
Energizing Strategy” to think creatively. As an avid lap swimmer, I often get my most creative insights while swimming monotonous after monotonous lap. I almost never think about the physical part of the swim, such as the way I move my arms or the way I breathe; I’ve been swimming so long that the mechanics are second-nature. Rather, I purpose to use this time to sort out problems, figure out solutions to perplexing issues, and mentally test out different angles to dilemmas. I always emerge feeling both mentally and physically refreshed, and that I have moved forward creatively.

Wishing you a wonderful day! And may your chores of the day be
your pathways to creative genius!

NOTES:

(1)Buderi, Robert. (2004) “Thinking about Thinking.” Technology Review, February, p. 1.

(2)Ibid.

(3) Ibid.
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